Without Exception Newsletter
January 2024
🌟 Happy New Year 🌟
REFLECTIONS & RESPONSES
Welcome to our NEW monthly feature, which was the idea of a network member. This section is an open forum to share reflections or responses connected to our newsletter and our mission. If you have something to say, then send me your thoughts to post them here—even anonymously. There is no format.
Please respect the privacy of the authors. These reflections are intended only for the private forum of our network. Public sharing or reprinting is not permitted.
✅ From the Editor
Concerning LGBTQ+ persons (especially trans), there are so many narratives circulating right now in public discourse. The best strategy against misinformation (inaccurate) and disinformation (deliberate) is to check facts and ask questions. What about litter boxes? Bathrooms? Male sexual assault? Gender-Affirming Care? LGBT population size? Health care bans? State bills? We need to start moving away from sound-bite narratives and into the stories of real peoples’ lives. As Pope Francis says, “Realities are more important than ideas.”
✅ Fr. Francis Gargani, CSsR (Washington, DC)
High School was a very difficult time for me. Perhaps today my father would be diagnosed as “bi-polar,” but in my high school years (1959 – 1963) that disorder was not even identified. His mood swings were expressed with raging anger, and, as a teenager, I dreaded my “walking-on-glass” relationship with him.
I attended an all-boys Catholic High School staffed predominantly in those days with religious Brothers, some of whom I, to this day, consider unbalanced. Corporal punishment was still common, and I dreaded one particular Brother who would drive his knuckles into our skulls if we didn’t have the correct answer to his queries, as he would menacingly pace up and down the classroom aisles.
Not being a jock only made things worse, since sports dominated the school culture. Most of the students traveled by bus and subway from mostly the City, and I was the only one I knew who walked to the School from my neighboring town. I was, to say the least, desperately lonely, and was pretty miserable. Suicidal thoughts were not foreign to me, though our religious taboo of taking your own life at least prevented me from ever doing anything.
I can’t even imagine what a difference it would have made to me were there any kind of outreach or support group for those of us who were struggling with our sexual identity and feelings. Today’s freedom of expression—and the fluidity of gender and orientation—couldn’t have even been conceived back then. I am not sure, but in some ways it might be just as difficult today for a young woman or man to come to a healthy appreciation for and integration of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
We create an alternative to public education in a Catholic School so that our young people might be formed not only with a fine academic education, but, just as importantly, become the benefactors of a fine spiritual, moral, and psychological formation. More than anything, we want to provide for our young (the future leaders and participants of Society and of our Faith Communities) an atmosphere that is so affirming and caring that they will come to know the unconditional love of God for them is real, as revealed in the Christ.
Our Catholic Schools are a failure if they don’t make every young woman or man (Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bi-, Trans, Queer, and other, from every spectrum of our economic strata, from every nationality and ethnic origin and heritage, from every Color and race) know they are a mirror of God among us.
We are aware that adolescence is a challenging time as it is. There are incredible pressures and negative influences our young have to deal with, bombarded as they are with 24/7 social media. We yearn to provide them with opportunities where they can bond with their contemporaries, and discover they are not “the only ones,” and have a community that yearns to be a “safe haven” where hopefully they can flourish.
I know that I only want every young person of our human family from anywhere in our world, of whatever culture or religion or none, to come to know that they are highly valued members, gifted and unique, in the on-going formation of the “beloved community.”
✅ Archbishop Thomas Zinkula (Dubuque, IA; formerly, Davenport, IA)
In its first couple of meetings, the newly formed Gender Committee of the Diocese of Davenport recognized that it didn't know enough about the topic it was discussing, so it consulted many people via video conferencing, including transgender persons and their family members.
There was one story in particular that grabbed my heart and caused me to fully embrace our task. A parent shared that her child, who was identifying as trans, was told by the pastor how the youth had to dress at the upcoming confirmation Mass. Even after complying, the pastor didn’t allow the youth to receive Communion at the Mass. That Sunday the pastor preached that LGBTQ+ people will go to hell. The next day the young person attempted suicide.
Transgender persons and their families told the committee that all they were looking for was a Church that welcomed and accepted sexual and gender minorities as children of God. That’s all. I don’t think this is too much to ask for. In fact, our Catholic Christian faith calls us to treat each and every person with dignity and respect.
When the diocese eventually issued its Guidelines for Pastoral Accompaniment of Sexual and Gender Minorities, I heard from countless people who are dealing with identity issues and their family members, some of whom were considering walking away from their Catholic faith. They told me that the Guidelines gave them new hope.
Christ was born during a time and in a place of uncertainty and turmoil. It is in this context that his birth can be understood best. May our recent Christmas celebration bring hope to LGBTQ+ persons, their families, those who minister to them, and all who feel overwhelmed by the challenges they face.
RECORDS & REPORTS
Without Exception now has 450 persons in 43 states and 7 additional countries! By word-of-mouth we are also gaining a solid reputation. Who else needs to be on our mailing list? Please let me know or extend the invitation. I’m having the most difficulty finding connections in Vermont, Delaware, Mississippi, Kansas, North Dakota, Wyoming, and Hawaii.
- Besides being a husband, father, teacher, and coach, I’ve been very busy writing and presenting during this academic year. These responsibilities have made it difficult for me to plan or schedule Zoom meetings for our network. If you have the knowledge, skill, and endurance to help in this capacity, then please let me know.
I am brainstorming a project to create or compile a series of short case studies to help Catholic schools think about various circumstances they might encounter with sexual and gender minorities. If you’d like to share any real or imagined stories with me, then I would appreciate that. The final product will be available to this network as a professional development resource.
In June 2024 I will be traveling to Rome. I want to write to the Dicastery for Culture and Education to see if I can arrange a meeting to discuss a vision for better pastoral care in Catholic schools. As more Catholic prelates promulgate policies that limit access to Catholic education for LGBTQ+ students, we are losing sight of the third missionary ideal identified by the dicastery: (1) understanding the fundamental principles of Catholic education; (2) safeguarding the Catholic intellectual and social tradition, and (3) providing for pastoral care as part of evangelization. Concerning pastoral care, we need to focus on harm reduction by prioritizing physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We can do this without compromising the deposit of faith because this is not about doctrine but about “translation into pastoral practice.” We can improve life outcomes for LGBTQ+ persons simply by not promoting rejecting behaviors that cause harm (theological bullying, psychological maltreatment, spiritual abuse, etc.). I think this is an area for greater awareness. If you have any connections that might help get me in the door—or if you want to talk me out of this!—then please contact me.
The new Vatican document Fiducia Supplicans (On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings) has caused quite a stir in Catholic media since its release on December 18. Here’s a one sentence version: “The Church does not have the power to impart blessings on unions of persons of the same sex,” but there “appears the possibility of blessings for couples in irregular situations and for couples of the same sex, the form of which should not be fixed ritually by ecclesial authorities to avoid producing confusion with the blessing proper to the Sacrament of Marriage” (nos. 5 and 31). Please read the primary source for a more complete understanding of the nuances involved.
The Family Acceptance Project (FAP) is updating their family education booklets that are Best Practice resources for Suicide Prevention. These multilingual booklets have helped thousands of families to decrease rejection and increase support for LGBTQ people. As part of this work, FAP is producing a new version of the booklet for Catholic families with LGBTQ young people and is reaching out to invite Catholic LGBTQ people and families to share family photos that could be included in this new publication. For more information or to share photos, contact fap@sfsu.edu.
The Family Acceptance Project (FAP) is inviting Asian, Black, Latino, Indigenous and multiracial parents and caregivers who have parented LGBTQ young people to participate on a parent advisory group for a new family support study. The new study will provide FAP’s family support services free online to help racially diverse parents who are struggling with their child's LGBTQ identity to decrease rejection and increase family support and well-being. Parent advisory group members will provide guidance on implementing the project. Here’s a brief survey to apply for the group. For more info about FAP contact fap@sfsu.edu.
Future of Faith (www.futureoffaith.org) develops and curates resources to help connect current and future generations with their faith lives. It’s a no strings attached gift to all those in ministry who want to listen better and lead the future of the church by creating relational, inclusive spaces. Right now, they’ve got a newsletter highlighting some really innovative ministries and Sacred Listening Tools that are free to download. Josh Packard (josh@futureofaith.org) and Megan Bissell (megan@futureofaith.org) lead this beautiful effort and would love to hear from you.
On Saturday, March 2, 2024, there will be a Virtual Interfaith Morning of Reflection for LGBTQ+ Persons, their Families, and Allies from 9:00 – 11:00 AM Central Time. It will be presented by Fr. Buddy Noel, Sr. Rochelle Perrier, MSC, and Brad Leger. Please consider attending and save the date! More details and registration information are forthcoming. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact Brad at brad@balconsulting.org.
The LGBTQ+ Initiative of the Marianist Social Justice Collaborative will host a summer conference from Thursday June 27 to Sunday, June 30, 2024 at the Bergamo Center in Dayton, OH. “Imago Dei: Embracing the Dignity of LGBTQ+ Persons” aims to celebrate the 50th anniversary of a 1974 groundbreaking conference centered on LGBTQ+ inclusion and ministry which was held in Dayton at the Bergamo Center. The conference hopes to honor those who foresaw the importance of developing pastoral care and outreach, and to envision how we can continue to respond to the needs of the LGBTQ+ community within our Church and world. More information is available here.
The 2024 Outreach LGBTQ Catholic ministry conference will be held at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., from August 2-4. More information will be forthcoming.
READINGS & RESOURCES
Baars, Conrad. Born Only Once: The Miracle of Affirmation (Third Edition). Wipf & Stock, 2016.
Barbee, Harry, Bashar Hassan, and Fan Liang. “Postoperative Regret Among Transgender and Gender-Diverse Recipients of Gender-Affirming Surgery.” JAMA Surgery, December 27, 2023.
Barina, Rachelle, Ron Hamel, and Michael Panicola.“The church must promote wholeness for transgender people.” National Catholic Reporter, November 14, 2016.
Brooks, John. “The Controversial Research on 'Desistance' in Transgender Youth.” KQED, May 23, 2018.
Byrne, William and Members of Catholics for Inclusion. “A message of welcome to the LGBTQ+ community.” Daily Hampshire Gazette, December 5, 2023.
Canales, Arthur. “Accompanying LGBTQ young people is a key part of Christian discipleship.” Outreach, December 27, 2023.
Carotta, Michael. Sometimes We Dance, Sometimes We Wrestle: Embracing the Spiritual Growth of Adolescents. Harcourt Religion, 2000.
Carotta, Michael. Teaching for Discipleship: The Call, the Challenge, the Difference. Our Sunday Visitor, 2015.
Coleman, Gerald. The Many Faces of Transgender: A Catholic Perspective. Loredo Press, 2020.
Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith. Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons. The Holy See, October 31, 2023.
Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith. Declaration on the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings [Fiducia Supplicans]. The Holy See, December 18, 2023.
Eden Invitation. “Letting Someone In.” Eden Invitation, 2023.
Eden Invitation. “Receiving Someone’s Story.” Eden Invitation, 2023.
Faggioli, Massimo, “Francis, Strickland & Burke: The pope’s response to US Catholic conservatism.” Commonweal, December 18, 2023.
Farrington, Brendan. “DeSantis spread false information while pushing trans health care ban and restrictions, a judge says.” AP News, December 22, 2023.
Florence, Ashley. “The Clinical Irrelevance of ‘Desistance’ Research for Transgender and Gender Creative Youth.” Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, Vol. 9, Is. 4, 2022.
Flores, Andrew and Keith Conron. Adult LGBT Population in the United States. Williams Institute, December 2023.
Goldbauer, An and Zander Keig, hosts. Interview with Laura Edwards-Leeper. The Umbrella Hour, December 21, 2023.
Hernandez, Stephanie, Carolyn Halpern, and Kerith Conron. “Sexual Orientation, Gender Expression and Socioeconomic Status in the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health.” The Williams Institute, November 2023.r
Homans, Charles. “How a Sexual Assault in a School Bathroom Became a Political Weapon.” New York Times Magazine, August 8, 2023.
Hornbeck II, J. Patrick and Christine Hinze, eds. More than a Monologue: Sexual Diversity and the Catholic Church: Voices of Our Times. Fordham University Press, 2014.
Hornbeck II, J. Patrick and Michael Norko, eds. More than a Monologue: Sexual Diversity and the Catholic Church: Inquiry, Thought, and Expression. Fordham University Press, 2014.
The JED Foundation. Youth Suicide: Current Trends and the Path to Prevention. The JED Foundation, December 2023.
Kaltiala-Heino, Riittakerttu, et al. “Gender dysphoria in adolescence: current perspectives.” Adolescent Health, Medicine, and Therapeutics, Vol. 9, March 2, 2018.
Karrington, Baer. “Defining Desistance: Exploring Desistance in Transgender and Gender Expansive Youth Through Systematic Literature Review.” Transgender Health, Vol. 7, No. 3, 2022.
McMillan, Jeff. “For a male sexual assault survivor, justice won in court does not equal healing.” AP News, December 1, 2023.
McRay, Barrett. “Till We Have Faces …” Wheaton Record, Wheaton College (IL), December 8, 2023.
Morandini, James, et al. “Is Social Gender Transition Associated with Mental Health Status in Children and Adolescents with Gender Dysphoria?” Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 52, No. 3, April 4, 2023.
Murphy, Caryle. The most and least educated U.S. religious groups. Pew Research Center, November 4, 2016.
Olson, Kristina, et al. “Gender Identity 5 Years After Social Transition.” Pediatrics, Vol. 150, No. 2, August 1, 2022.
Palmieri, David. “A reminder for the Christmas dinner table: No, LGBTQ persons are not marked for hell.” Outreach, December 22, 2023.
Palmieri, David. “Five commitments the Synod made to the church and what they mean for LGBTQ Catholics.” Outreach, December 13, 2023.
Parks, Casey. “Her story fueled anti-trans bills. Now, she’s fighting them.” The Washington Post, December 27, 2023.
Perrotti, Jeff and Kim Westheimer. When the Drama Club is Not Enough: Lessons from the Safe Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students. Beacon Press, 2002.
Pollitt, Amanda, et al. “Predictors and Mental Health Benefits of Chosen Name Use among Transgender Youth.” Youth & Society, June 2019.
Reed, Erin. “Debunked: No, 80% Of Trans Youth Do Not Detransition.” Erin in the Morning, March 17, 2023.
Reed, Erin. “Erin's 2024 Anti-Trans Legislative Risk Map.” Erin in the Morning, December 30, 2023.
Reuters Fact Check. “No evidence of schools accommodating ‘furries’ with litter boxes.” Reuters, October 18, 2022.
Roggio, Sharon, director. 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture [documentary]. Acowsay Film Company, 2023.
Rowe, Margaret Anne. NAIS Research on LGBTQ+ Youth Well-Being: Chapter 1: The State of LGBTQ+ Youth. National Association of Independent Schools, November 2023.
Sanders, Cody. Christianity, LGBTQ Suicide, and the Souls of Queer Folk. Lexington Books, 2021.
Stolakis, Kristine, director. Pray Away [documentary]. Netflix, 2021.
Suicide Prevention Resource Center. “Warning Signs of Suicide: A Fact Sheet for Family and Community Members.” SPRC, 2023.
Temple-Newhook, Julie, et al. “A critical commentary on follow-up studies and ‘desistance’ theories about transgender and gender non-conforming children.” International Journal of Transgenderism, Vol. 19, No. 2, 2018.
The Trevor Project. It’s Still Happening: A Report on Practitioners of So-Called Conversion "Therapy” in the U.S. The Trevor Project, December 2023.
Turban, Jack, Brett Dolotina Dana King, Alex Keuroghlian. “Sex Assigned at Birth Ratio Among Transgender and Gender Diverse Adolescents in the United States.” Pediatrics, Vol. 150, Is. 3, September 2022.
Vaidyanathan, Brandon, et. al. Polarization, Generational Dynamics, and the Ongoing Impact of the Abuse Crisis: Further Insights from the National Study of Catholic Priests. The Catholic Project, The Catholic University of America, November 2023.
Winters, Kelley. “The ‘80% desistance’ dictum: Is it science?” in Lev & Gottlieb (eds.), Families in Transition: Parenting Gender Diverse Children, Adolescents, and Young Adults. Harrington Park Press, 2019.
XVI Ordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops. Synthesis Report: A Synodal Church in Mission. The Holy See, October 2023.
REPLAYS & REMINDERS
- New Ways Ministry is sponsoring a three-day retreat with Fr. James Alison in Racine, Wisconsin from Friday, February 16 to Sunday, February 18, 2024. The retreat is for LGBTQ+ people, family, friends, and pastoral ministers. More information is available here.
- To coincide with the total solar eclipse in April, Saint Christopher Journeys and Still Point Theatre Collective are hosting a conference from April 6–8 on Science, Art, and Faith Aligning. There will be a breakout session on Supporting Transgender Youth. The conference will take place at Saint Mary of the Woods College in Indiana.
- Fortunate Families continues to offer specialized training in the Ministry of Accompaniment to transgender persons. This ministry is an expression of the commitment to trans* persons as members of the Body of Christ. Essential to this commitment is understanding the many issues that affect personal and spiritual well-being.
NETWORK RESOURCES
PREVIOUS NEWSLETTERS
PRIVACY & CONFIDENTIALITY
Without Exception continues to be a no-cost ministry network for people in Catholic secondary education and related fields of ministry. The goal is to continue offering helpful resources to accompany our LGBTQ+ students and colleagues with the love of Jesus Christ and his church. Please respect privacy and confidentiality concerning the persons and schools connected to our network. The strength of this work is sustained by the trust among members.
MISSION STATEMENT
Without Exception is a global network of Catholic secondary educators dedicated to discerning the art of accompaniment for LGBTQ+ students in Catholic schools. Through a commitment to faithful dialogue and peer collaboration, we seek to understand what it means to share the love of Jesus Christ with every person, without exception.
Email: info@withoutexception.net
Website: www.withoutexception.net