Principal Pattiey's Post

One of the hardest parts of loving our children is watching them struggle. Whether they are working through a friendship problem, learning a difficult skill, or discovering that a choice has an uncomfortable consequence, our instinct is often to step in and make things better. I hope you will take a moment to read The Boy and the Butterfly, included in this newsletter, and reflect with me on the growth that can come from working through a challenge.

At our Halloween parade, I noticed a beautiful eight-year-old ballerina who was quite cold. When I mentioned it to her mother, she explained that they had discussed dressing more warmly, but her daughter had firmly declined. Now she was experiencing what her mother’s advice had meant! It was a small, everyday reminder that sometimes an experience teaches a lesson our words cannot.

Of course, there is an important difference between allowing a manageable disappointment and leaving a child overwhelmed, unsafe, or without comfort. We can offer warmth, reassurance, and another opportunity to make a choice while still allowing the lesson to take hold. Children need to know that our help and care remain available, even when we do not solve the whole problem for them.

Looking back on raising my own children, I recognize times when I stepped in too quickly. I wonder whether some challenges they faced as young adults might have felt more manageable if I had given them more opportunities to practice solving smaller problems along the way. I acted out of love, as we all do. Parenting offers plenty of opportunities for reflection—and very few opportunities for a do-over!

Grit grows a little at a time: trying again, asking for help, repairing a disagreement, or making a different choice tomorrow. Our role is to offer enough support for children to keep going while leaving room for them to discover their own capabilities. Sometimes that sounds like, “I know this is hard. I’m here. What could you try next?”

Allowing that space can be difficult for us, too. But with patience, encouragement, and support, we help our children build something lasting: the confidence that they can face a challenge and find their way through it.

It Takes a Village,

Principal Pattiey