RPSD Anti-Bullying Newsletter

Ensuring our children feel safe and respected is the foundation of a great education. In New Jersey, we have some of the strongest anti-bullying protections in the country, governed by the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act (ABR).

As we mark the mid-point of the 2025-2026 school year, it is important to continue to understand how the law defines bullying, your rights as a parent, and the specific steps schools must take when an incident occurs.

Elementary Schools:

• Week of Respect: Bullying and Respect lessons
• No-Name Calling Week and Start with Hello Week
• Stand Up, Speak Out: Empowering Youth Against Bullying Assembly
• 4th and 5th grade Anti-bullying, conflict and HIB lessons
• Student of the month character education awards focusing on respect, kindness, perseverance, and inclusion

RPMS:

• 6th grade anti-bullying lessons
• individual HIB education sessions
• HIB law/information provided to our community at Back to School Night
• suicide prevention lessons
• School Violence Awareness Week, Week of Respect, Red Ribbon Week
• PBSIS initiatives focusing on respect and empathy
• Be Brave Assemblies

RPHS:

• Community Tree
• Stall Ledger
• Week of Respect
• Positive Fortunes

In New Jersey schools, "peer conflict" is defined as a mutual disagreement, argument, or fight between students who are on relatively equal footing. Unlike bullying, conflict is considered reciprocal, meaning both parties are more or less evenly involved in the dispute. The state's Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights distinguishes conflict from HIB (Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying) by looking for three missing elements: there is no power imbalance, the incident is not one-sided, and it is not motivated by a distinguishing characteristic (like race, gender, or appearance). While conflict can still involve name-calling or physical pushing and is a normal—though disruptive—part of social development, it is typically addressed through the school's Student Code of Conduct and resolved via mediation rather than a formal HIB investigation.

In New Jersey, "Bullying" is legally referred to as HIB (Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying). For an incident to be classified as HIB under the law, it must meet all three of these criteria:

1. A Distinguishing Characteristic: The behavior must be motivated by an actual or perceived characteristic (such as race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or any other distinguishing characteristic).

2. Substantial Disruption: It must take place on school property, at a school-sponsored event, on a bus, or even off-campus (including online) and creates a "hostile environment" or disrupts the orderly operations of the school day.

3. The Impact: It must result in at least one of the following:

   • Physical or emotional harm.

   • Damage to a student’s property.

   • Reasonable fear of harm.

   • A significant interference with the student’s education or rights.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, you no longer have to rely on a phone call alone. Under Mallory’s Law, every NJ school district is required to provide a standardized HIB 338 Form for families.

• Where to find it: Your school’s and the RPSD website both provide a link to this form.

• Confidentiality: You have the right to complete this form online and confidentially.

• Action: Once you submit this form, the school must begin a formal investigation within one school day.

New Jersey law mandates a strict timeline to ensure student safety is addressed quickly.

Navigating the digital landscape can feel like uncharted territory for parents, especially as social media becomes the primary "hangout spot" for children and teens. While these platforms offer incredible opportunities for connection and creativity, they also lack the physical cues of face-to-face interaction, which can sometimes lower the barrier for cyberbullying. Unlike traditional bullying, digital harassment can follow a child into the safety of their home, appearing in 24/7 notifications that feel impossible to escape.

The key isn't necessarily total restriction, but rather fostering a culture of open communication and digital resilience. By staying curious about their online world rather than just "policing" it, you create a safe space where your child feels comfortable reporting a hurtful comment or a suspicious interaction before it escalates.

Quick Strategies for Digital Safety

Cyberbullying in New Jersey has seen a significant upward trend over the last decade, particularly following the return to in-person learning post-pandemic. Please click on the link to review data from the Cyberbullying Research Center (2025). You can also find more information by reviewing the NJDOE Commissioner's Report, found on the NJDOE website, which is also linked here: NJDOE HIB Page.

1. Being an Upstander

New Jersey’s 2026 education guidelines emphasize the role of the Upstander. Research shows that when a peer intervenes, bullying stops within 10 seconds more than half the time.

• Walking with a buddy is one way to deter someone targeting a peer.

• If safe, direct intervention can disrupt bullying behavior. Using a firm, calm voice to say, "That’s not cool," or "We don't do that here."

• Remind kids that tattling is to get someone in trouble, but reporting is to get someone out of trouble. Encourage them to use the school's HIB 338 form or talk to a "Safe Adult."

2. Being a Peacemaker

Since conflict is mutual, kids have the power to "de-escalate" the situation using these communication tools:

• The "I" Statement: Instead of "You’re being mean," teach them to say: "I feel frustrated when you take my seat because I was sitting there first." This focuses on the behavior, not the person.

• The "Cool-Down" Rule: Teach kids the "Stoplight" method:

  • Red: My emotions are too high; I need to walk away.

  • Yellow: I am calm enough to listen to the other person.

  • Green: I am ready to brainstorm a solution.

• The "Think" Filter: Before speaking (especially online), ask: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind?

3. Safe Tech Habits (Preventing Cyber-HIB) Kids can prevent digital HIB by:

• Screenshots, not Replies: If someone is being mean online, do not reply. Take a screenshot (evidence) and block the user immediately.

• The "Grandma Rule": Don’t post or send anything you wouldn't want your grandmother (or your principal) to see.

As a parent, you are your child's first teacher when it comes to social navigation. Preventing bullying and conflict in New Jersey involves a mix of emotional coaching at home, digital awareness, and active partnership with your school.

Under Mallory’s Law, parents now have a heightened responsibility to monitor their child's digital footprint, as civil liability can apply if a parent shows "willful disregard" in supervising a child who commits cyber-harassment.

Strategies for Prevention

1. Build "Emotional Literacy" at Home

Prevention starts with giving kids the words to express frustration before it turns into aggression.

• The "I-Statement" Habit: Model this yourself. Instead of "You’re making a mess," try "I feel stressed when the shoes are in the hallway because I might trip."

• The 20-Minute Rule: Research shows that just 20 minutes of undivided, positive attention from a parent daily can significantly reduce a child’s aggressive behavior and increase their resilience.

• Role-Play Conflict: Practice "Low-Stakes" disagreements. If your child wants a different snack, use it as a moment to practice negotiation and compromise.

  
  

2. Active Digital Supervision

Most bullying in 2026 starts or escalates online.

• The "Tech Audit": Regularly review the apps your child uses. NJ law allows schools to investigate off-campus cyberbullying if it disrupts the school day.

• Spot-Check DMs: Under Mallory’s Law, if your child is involved in a HIB incident, their device history may become part of a formal investigation. Encourage the "Grandma Rule": If you wouldn't want your grandmother to see it, don't send it.

3. Know the "Red Flags"

Parents are often the first to notice the subtle signs that a child is involved in a bullying situation (as a victim, bystander, or aggressor).

4. Be a Partner, Not Just a Reporter

If a conflict arises, New Jersey’s Department of Education encourages a "collaborative" approach:

• Document Everything: If you suspect HIB, keep a log of dates, times, and screenshots.

• Use the HIB 338 Form: Don't wait for a "sit down" meeting. Submit the official state form to trigger the 10-day investigation timeline.

• Attend "Climate" Meetings: Join your school’s School Safety/School Climate Team. NJ law requires these teams to include at least one parent representative.

• 10-Second Intervention: Research shows that when a peer steps in as an "Upstander," bullying stops within 10 seconds in more than 50% of cases.

• The Cyber Surge: In 2025, nearly 58% of New Jersey students reported being cyberbullied at some point—a number that has nearly doubled in the last decade.

• The Investigation Gap: During the most recent school year, NJ schools conducted over 21,000 formal HIB investigations, but only about 40% were legally confirmed as "HIB." The rest were handled under the general Student Code of Conduct.

• The Attendance Link: Nearly 1 in 5 NJ students who are targets of cyberbullying have missed school because they felt unsafe or distressed by online messages.

• Bias-Based Reports: Incidents targeting a student's race, religion, or orientation have quadrupled in New Jersey since 2018, leading to stricter reporting requirements under Mallory’s Law.