What's JOY Got to Do With It?

Hello February! February may be the shortest month of the calendar year, but it certainly can feel long and just as busy. Ever wonder why February gets slighted by a few days? We can thank Roman king Numa Pompilius for adding January and February to the end of the previous calendar of only 10 months in hopes of syncing the calendar with the lunar year. Interestingly, Pompilius was also said to have had an aversion to even numbers so he preferred that no month have an even number of days. Mathematically though, that wasn’t possible. One month would have to have an even number. So, the king rearranged the other 11 months to only have 29 or 31 days, leaving only the last month, which was February at the time, with 28 days, making it the only month that had an even number of days. Through all the subsequent calendar changes, the 28 day month of February has remained. (Britannica)

An abbreviated month made up of short and often cold and dreary days might find many of us feeling isolated or less connected in February. That doesn’t have to be the case, though.

This month our newsletter and included resources will focus on the value of listening so that February, and every month, can be filled with new perspectives, connections and community, all amplified through listening.

The VBCPS Graduate Profile points out that, among other things, students who are future ready are thinkers and inquirers who raise vital questions driven by curiosity to increase understanding, and communicators and collaborators who listen and articulate effectively for a variety of purposes and who work well with others while being willing to understand and offer alternate points of view. However, it can be challenging for students of any age to be open to others’ points of view. They can get quite upset when others do not agree with them. So how do we get students to open up and listen to other’s perspective, and connection and similarities with others, rather than just differences? Peter Elbow, Professor of English Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, pioneer of freewriting and noted author on writing and pedagogy posits his concept of the “Believing Game” can help students do just that. The believing game trains us to find hidden virtues or strengths in ideas that sound wrong or even crazy and can help us recognize that, "the truth is often complex and that different people often catch different aspects of it."

The Believing Game requires effective listening. Responsive Classroom defines effective listening as a set of skills for successful academic and social conversations”. The skills needed for effective listening includes students “quieting themselves and giving their full attention to the speaker, paraphrasing and summarizing” and “making sure they understood what was said.” Practicing these skills in the classroom helps students’ listening skills to personally develop, but additionally it can strengthen “relationships with peers, teachers and school staff….. which in turn helps create a positive classroom and school community. The intentional teaching of listening also leads to a firm grasp of academic presentations and discussions, helps develop key social-emotional competencies, and strengthens language development along with essential thinking and speaking skills.” (Responsive Classroom Quick Coaching Guide: Developing Effective Listener.)

• For more information on Responsive Classroom, see Professional Learning Opportunities in the Joy Newsletter, or search “Responsive Classroom” in Frontline)

The overall goal of the Believing Game isn’t to have students change their minds or to give up their own well-considered opinions. While that can happen, Elbow notes, changing your mind is not the point. The overall goal is understanding the other point of view so you can appreciate the perspectives of others. The rules of the game are to remain open, search for ways to believe the statements or assertions you hear and consider any positive implications of the statements you hear.

One way to introduce the Believing Game is to have students look up at the clouds. One at a time, have students share what object the cloud looks like to them. This is a very non-threatening way to introduce the idea of being open to and considering others’ perspectives. As each student describes what they see, others may be able, with an open mind and classmates’ assistance, to see what they see, if we’re willing to squinch up our eyes, outlook from all angles, and try really hard. Maybe everyone won’t see what they see, even with their explanation but the effort makes students better thinkers, inquirers and collaborators.

With older students and structured practice following the rules of the Believing Game, you might try having students support their side of an argumentative essay topic, the cause of an event in history or the cause of a character’s actions in literature. Remind students that in the Believing Game, they need to sit deeply with their classmate’s point of view for a time and seek to give it credence. The ability to accept a new idea other than one’s own only happens when we can listen to and understand others’ ideas. Even if classmates do not share the same viewpoint, by deeply listening, the Believing Game can foster social awareness and positive relational skills in the classroom, and build a culture of intellectual and social empathy (The Believing Game: Fostering Empathy in the Classroom, The Center for Professional Education of Teachers (CPET) at Teachers College, Columbia University, 2022).

As educators, a tremendous amount of our time is spent explaining, instructing, sharing and directing. But as a framed sign that hung in Lyndon B. Johnson’s office stated, “You’re not learning anything when you’re talking” (I Wish I Knew That: U.S. Presidents, Reader’s Digest). Ironically, in a day and age when communication tools are literally almost constantly at our fingertips, the act of listening has become a skill we use less and less. A 2018 Harvard Business Review article cites research that finds that employees paired with quality listeners in the workplace felt, “less anxious, more self-aware, and reported higher clarity about their attitudes on the topics.” Listening allows us insight about each other and about ourselves. When used wisely, thoughtful listening can transform schools and help educators work more collaboratively. And with some deliberate and thoughtful practice, school leaders can improve their listening capacity.

Edutopia’s 2022 article, “How to Lead with Empathy” reminds leaders of the importance of listening intently, rather than speaking or offering solutions. “Empathetic leadership, born from an authentic understanding of teachers’ needs that comes from listening, is an essential component of expert school leadership. It’s a mindset that principals and teachers say should inform decision-making and help establish a schoolwide culture of purpose and respect. Better listening requires a shift from a reactive frame of mind to one which is more receptive. “ In The Mindful School Leader, authors Brown and Olsen note that real listening is hard because it is increasingly difficult to focus due to constant distractions and because attention is fractured. They go on to share a term that Linda Stone, the former Microsoft executive, has coined. Stone uses “continuous partial attention” to describe this phenomenon of fractured attention. In other words, attention is seldom fully focused. To listen deeply in this way is to recognize our shared humanness, and to discover for ourselves our own propensities, the building blocks of relational trust.

Often for leaders, communication with those we lead can often uncover situations that require immediate action. But moments that do arise that allow us to ask questions and simply listen, refraining from providing an immediate answer can be powerful. Genuinely asking questions like, “Can you tell me more?” and “What can I do to support you?” and then actively listening to the responses can validate the experiences of others and create a supportive environment where stakeholders feel they are heard and valued. Listen carefully and without judgment. Interject occasionally to show that you've understood what's being said. Being an empathetic listener can help you build your professional relationships, establish yourself as an effective leader and encourage others to trust you with important information. Gaining empathy through listening doesn’t just help leaders become more effective; it also empowers the entire organization to grow and be stronger.

EdSurge has more on listening here: Attention School Leaders: Listening is Essential. Here’s How to Get Better at It (2021).

Monday mornings in the Office of Professional Growth and Innovation, even dreary February Monday mornings, are a time of laughter, connection and community. Every Monday morning, PGI engages in Huddle. “Tens of thousands of companies around the world have discovered the freedom and power that comes from implementing this simple meeting rhythm. One example is the Ritz-Carlton, which gathers about 80 people at their headquarters for a 10-minute daily huddle to receive updates from Boston to Bali. Meanwhile, all 35,000 Ritz-Carlton employees participate in some kind of daily huddle at their local hotels.” (Growth Institute, 2022) What is shared in a huddle can save an entire team “an hour of email updates and ad hoc interruptions,” says Verne Harnish, founder of the world-renowned Entrepreneurs' Organization.

• Assess current progress: During a team huddle, each member of a team can be brought up to speed on the team's progress toward a goal.

• Motivate staff members: By meeting and discussing current work and progress toward goals, huddles can improve team motivation.

• Align tasks and projects: Huddles allow an entire team to align and prioritize work before working independently.

• Build work relationships: Huddles are opportunities for colleagues and leaders to interact and get to know one another better, increasing what the Harvard Business Review calls “passable trust.”

Dr. Janene Gorham, Director of the Office of Professional Growth and Innovation shares,, "When we started the huddle, we were trying to find a simple way to keep everyone aware of each other’s work because in a busy office, that is sometimes hard to do. It has, however, become so much more. The huddle is a place of celebration, connections, and caring. We often comment that we are like a family at PGI, and I believe the huddle contributes to that sense of belonging and community."

Tips on Getting Started:

• Schedule a consistent time and location for your huddle.

• Create the expectation that everyone speaks. Vocalizing individual status updates in front of the whole team will lead to greater commitment and allow the team to better recognize the important contributions of each team member.

• Team huddles should be kept short, but allow enough time for each team member to contribute. If you find that one or more team members get off topic or take longer to share, be sure to revisit the purpose and clarify the time expectations for your team.

• First thing in the morning or just before lunch are good times to hold a huddle.

Inclusive openings are brief, interactive experiences that bring the voice of every participant into the room and allow learners to make a connection to one another and/or to the work ahead. Each member brings a perspective-laden, culturally-rich voice that is heard, respected and learned from. The more we fully share ourselves and are fully received and understood by others, the stronger and safer our learning environments become.

Routines and ritual openings establish safety and predictability, support contribution by all voices, set norms for respectful listening, allow students to connect with one another and create a sense of belonging. To be successful these activities must be: carefully chosen, connected to the learning of the day and facilitated in an engaging and inclusive manner.

“What’s New?” builds Responsible Decision-Making skills by encouraging participants to choose the news that feels right to them to share in this moment (Analyzing Situations and Evaluating), and the Relationship Skills of Communication and Social Engagement as participants respectfully share and receive information.

Click here to make your own copy of the “What’s New?” slide.

For a detailed description on using “What’s New?” in the classroom, click here.

For more on “Mirrors and Windows” as a self-awareness and social-awareness strategy, click here.

From Chapter 8- Dimensions of leadership

“People frequently ascend to leadership positions because they are good communicators—or at least they appear to be. They make wonderful presentations to community groups and their governing board. When they talk to colleagues, they do so with conviction and enthusiasm. They are accustomed to hearing applause rather than questions and challenges. They are far more comfortable “communicating” through talking rather than listening. When senior leaders experience decades of positive reinforcement for such one-sided communication, it is little wonder that so few leaders understand the value of listening. So what do relational leaders do? You might want to listen to your own colleagues describe the elements of the effective relational leader, but here’s a good start: they listen without interruption or prejudgment, they respect confidentiality, and they achieve genuine empathy through deliberate inquiry. (p. 107-109).

From The Learning Leader: How to Focus School Improvement for Better Results.(2nd ed, ASCD)

VBCPS Employees can access The Listening Leader in Virtual Reference Library using their VBCPS log-in credentials.

PDF of Chapter Included and Full book linked

-from Chapter 2, School Voice Today

“It may seem counterintuitive, but using your voice begins by listening. Listening has become lost art and an undervalued trait. How many great listeners can you name off the top of your head? Leaders are typically thought of as outspoken, boisterous people who receive the most attention. Now think about some of the most influential listeners in the world. Mahatma Gandhi’s wisdom and insights came from taking the time to listen to others. A little closer to home, Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots, is clearly not a yeller (well, not often anyway!) but a keen observer and one of the greatest coaches of all time. Sir Winston Churchill said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” And President Woodrow Wilson touched on the importance of listening quite eloquently: “The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.” It is critical to understand that listening is not a passive act; it is about much more than simply hearing someone. Effective listening requires openness and a genuine interest in understanding the thoughts and ideas of others. It includes intentionally seeking out others—including those with opinions different from your own—to invite them to share their ideas." (page 32-33).

From The Power of Voice in Schools: Listening, Learning, and Leading Together (ASCD, 2020).

VBCPS Employees can access The Power of Voice in Schools: Listening, Learning, and Leading Together in Virtual Reference Library using their VBCPS log-in credentials.

PDF of chapter included and Link to full book

This month, the Action for Happiness February calendar provides creative friendly acts that will give you, your relationships and others a boost. Try a few of these and share on Twitter. Tag @PGIVBCPS #VBHasJoy

For more information, contact the Office of Professional Growth and Innovation of Virginia Beach City Public Schools at pgi@vbschools.com or 757.263.6972.