The Counselors' Connection

Why is conflict resolution so important?

Conflict resolution is important because it helps prevent small issues from turning into bigger ones. These skills teach children how to address problems in a respectful way and strengthen relationships with their peers. Practicing empathy, listening, and problem-solving are key ingredients to maintaining healthy friendships. In addition, learning to resolve conflicts helps build self-esteem and self-confidence.

12 Essential Conflict Resolution Skills

1. Get calm first:
Before solving a conflict, help the child calm down—perhaps by taking a few deep breaths or relaxing their body—so they can think clearly instead of reacting out of anger. Five-finger breathing is a great strategy for this step.

2. Find a win-win solution:
Encourage both students to compromise so that everyone gets something they need.

3. Play a game of chance:
Sometimes a quick game like rock, paper, scissors can help settle small disagreements fairly.

4. Ask for help:
If a child has already tried one or two strategies without success, it’s okay to ask an adult for help. Teach children to recognize the difference between small problems (annoying but manageable) and big problems (unsafe, inappropriate, or breaking school rules).

5. Ignore it:
Sometimes the best way to handle a small problem is simply to ignore it and move on.

6. Use “I” messages:
“I feel (emotion) when (situation). Next time, can you please (how you want to be treated)?”
This helps children express their feelings respectfully and clearly.

7. Say words that mean “No.”
Encourage self-advocacy by teaching children to say, “I don’t like that. Please stop.”

8. Take turns and share:
Practicing fairness and patience helps reduce conflicts before they start.

9. Do something else:
Sometimes finding a new activity or game is the easiest way to move on and avoid continued tension.

10. Listen to the other person:
Show respect by listening without interrupting. Everyone wants to feel heard.

11. Use empathy:
Encourage children to imagine how the other person might feel in the same situation.

12. Offer a meaningful apology:
A sincere apology sounds like: “I’m sorry for what I did. I know it was hurtful because ____. Next time, I will ____.”

To read more on this topic, visit Whole Hearted School Counseling

One of the best ways for children to learn how to handle conflict is by watching how we do it at home. When we stay calm, listen, and work through problems respectfully, kids learn to do the same. Here are a few gentle ways to support them as they practice:

• Start with calm: Help your child take a few deep breaths or use a favorite coping skill to settle down before solving the problem.

• Name the feeling: Encourage them to put words to what they’re feeling—angry, sad, frustrated, or disappointed.

• Think about the problem size: Guide your child to decide if it’s a small problem that can be solved quickly or a bigger one that might need adult help.

• Choose a strategy: Remind them to try one of their conflict resolution tools—like using an “I-message,” taking turns, or walking away to cool off.

• Know when to ask for help: If they’ve tried a few strategies and the problem isn’t improving, that’s the perfect time to ask an adult for support.

With patience, practice, and positive modeling, children can grow into confident problem-solvers—both at home and at school.

To learn more, visit the Child Mind Institute

As part of our district’s Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) program, students participate in bi-weekly lessons designed to focus on five core areas of growth: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making . Each lesson may include a short story or book that helps illustrate these themes in an age-appropriate way.

Our SEL curriculum is aligned with the American School Counselor Association (ASCA) Mindsets & Behaviors for Student Success and the CASEL framework, ensuring that lessons support students’ academic, career, and social/emotional development through evidence-based practices.

Families can review the SEL lesson objectives and a list of the books that may be used for each grade level on our district webpage. The information, which is linked here, is located under the Pupil Services Department heading for School Counseling.

We encourage families to contact their child’s school counselor if they have any questions about upcoming SEL lessons or would like to learn more about the resources being used.

A few of this year’s lessons are already underway, and the same information is being shared now so that families can stay informed about the topics and materials used throughout the year.

It’s not always easy to know when your child or family may benefit from the support of a mental health provider. From The Child Mind Institute, here are some things experts recommend you consider in deciding whether a child needs professional help.

If you are looking for a place to start, you may want to consider the following resources:

• Consult your child’s pediatrician

• Contact your insurance company to understand your benefits and receive a list of providers that are in-network.

• Refer to the Mental Health Resource Guide and other Mental Health Resources listed on the School District of Haverford Township’s webpage.

If you have immediate concerns for your child's safety and need to access crisis resources, please see pages 3 - 5 of the district's Mental Health Resource Guide

Food Assistance Resources:

https://www.haverford.k12.pa.us/about/welcoming-schools/student-hunger-homelessness

https://haverfordlibrary.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Food-Pantry-List-UPDATED-9.8.2020.pdf

Clothing Resources:

https://www.firstchurchmedia.org/communityoutreach

https://fosteringhopepa.com/our-initiatives/foster-share-closet/

Personal, Household, Baby and Pet Essentials Resources:

https://delcohelpinghands.org/about