No one likes to be lied to. We teach children how to count, to read, to tie their shoelaces. We teach them to develop the abilities they need to be happy, active, and well-adjusted adults. Honesty is one of those behaviors. It forms the basis of trust in our relationships. Learning how to be honest and communicate in a respectful, kind, and truthful manner is an important skill we need to teach our children. Here are three steps parents can take to raise more honest kids From The Greater Good Science Center....
1. Talk with children about honesty
The best time to discuss the importance of honesty and truthfulness is when you and your child are calm and relaxed, not in the heat of the moment after you have just caught your child lying. If you talk about honesty and discuss why it is important at times when the child is able to hear you and process what you are saying, then when you come to those moments when you are disciplining your child about lying, you can refer to these principles without getting into long explanations or heated discussions. The important elements of these conversations include explaining what honesty is and why it is important. For young children, a simple definition is enough; simple and short discussions are fine. For older children and teenagers, you can have more elaborate discussions about what it means to be truthful to yourself and to others and why.
2. Acknowledge and recognize honesty
Acknowledging honesty when you see it is an important and powerful way to foster truthfulness. We often notice children being dishonest and we (rightfully) draw their attention to it. However, we also need to frequently draw attention to their honesty. Saying that honesty is important, but then not giving it any recognition or value in practice, sends a weak message about how truly important you think honesty is.
3. Model honesty
If you want your children to be honest, you have to show them how to be honest. Matching our deeds to our words is more powerful than words alone. It undermines the message when we tell kids that honesty is important, but then they see us be dishonest, even in small ways. The message children derive from mismatched behavior is that we give lip service to the virtue of honesty, but when it suits us we can “fudge” it and lie.
