Mental Health Minute

Emotional regulation or self-regulation is the ability to monitor and modulate which emotions one has, when you have them, and how you experience and express them.

• A child’s emotional regulation skills is how they manage incoming and outgoing stress they face.
• A child’s capacity to regulate their emotional state and emotional reactions can affect their family, peers, academic performance, long-term mental health, and their ability to thrive in a complex world.
• For a child struggling with emotion dysregulation, it may look like anger and aggression getting in the way of making and keeping friendships, or avoidance and withdrawal getting in the way of participating in emotionally challenging activities. You may see behaviors including meltdowns, low tolerance for frustration, overreaction, quick temper, mood swings and difficulty calming down.

Our brains regulate through two parts of our nervous systems.

• First, there’s an emergency or quick-response system – the “gas pedal”. Its primary job is to activate the body’s fight-or-flight response. Think of this as the gas pedal in a car. When activated, this system allows our bodies to move fast by speeding up our heart rate, shutting down digestion and upping blood sugar for quick energy. When a baby or child gets really worked up, this system is in full gear and the emotions are at “high speed”. Sometimes, this reaction is referred to as the emotional brain (or downstairs brain) taking control.
• Second, there is a calming or dampening part of the brain – the “brake.” This system is slower to activate, but when it does, it slows down our heart rate, increases digestion and conserves energy. This calming part of our nervous system can counter the “high speed” effect created by the fight-or-flight system, and it’s crucial in controlling our bodily functions and emotional well-being. This calming system is regulated by the cognitive brain (or upstairs brain).
• When these systems are acting in balance, our bodies run properly and there is emotional control. When the systems are out of balance, this is when self-regulation techniques can help to bring them back into a healthy state.

• Model positive emotions and adaptive emotion regulation skills
• Be warm, accepting and responsive to their child’s emotional needs
• Talk about emotions, Labeling the emotion for your child can help to build their emotional vocabulary. Acknowledging and validating the emotion can support your child in feeling understood. Let your child know their emotions are normal and natural, and everyone experiences different emotions from time to time.
• Accept, support and show empath to validate their negative feelings
• Be patient
• Do not ignore, dismiss, discourage, punish or react negatively to their child’s emotions, especially negative ones
• For older children, especially adolescents and teenagers, self-care in everyday life is important in strengthening their internal resources to regulate emotions. Activities that enhance self-care include:
• Exercise such as running, swimming and other aerobic activity
• Mindfulness practice such as meditation and yoga
• Adequate sleep and good sleep hygiene
• Relaxation treatment such as listening to music

Here are few skills that kids can include in their ‘emotional toolbox.’

• Name the Feeling

You may have heard the phrase “you have to name it to tame it.” Kids who can recognize and tell you how they’re feeling are better able to manage those feelings and receive the right kind of help when they need it. Parents can work with their young children to build an emotional vocabulary of feeling words that will help them understand and express their different emotions. This skill may be difficult but understanding how your child feels is crucial to helping them move past the hard time. If your child needs a little extra support, try giving them a sentence with blanks they can fill in (e.g. “I feel _______, when _______”).

• Notice your Body

Kids can also practice tuning into their bodies and noticing physical sensations that accompany certain feelings. Practicing self-awareness will improve children’s understanding of how our emotions impact our bodies and the mind-body connection. Sometimes, simply noticing how you’re feeling is enough to move past it with self-regulation.

• Pause

Kids can learn to press their internal pause button before reacting to difficult emotions. Just like you would press pause when watching a movie. This coping skill can prevent tantrums and help kids with self-control. Putting space between an emotion and a reaction allows children the opportunity to influence their emotional state and decide what comes next.

• Use a Coping Strategy or Relaxation Technique

When feeling intense emotions that could cause meltdowns, coping strategies such as deep breaths, listening to music and relaxation techniques help us with our emotional control.

• Self-care

Self-care represents the things we do regularly to stay healthy and balanced. When we are at our best, it’s much easier to stay in control of our emotions. Remember, kids learn a lot about how to deal with things from their role models. If you prioritize your own self-care and mental health, it sets a great example. Have your child come up with a list of things that make them feel happy and energized. Knowing what brings you joy is equally as important as knowing how to manage negative emotions. Developing skills that allow you to control and express your emotions in productive ways is important for many reasons. Emotional regulation skills contribute to a healthy mind, body, and spirit.

If you notice significant changes in your child’s behavior, such as sleep problems, major appetite changes, behavior or mood changes, or anxiety that makes it difficult for them to function, seek out support and consultation. Associated Clinic of Psychology is here to provide mental health services to students and their families. Consult with your child's school counselor or contact us directly with questions. www.acp-mn.com or 612-455-8643

* this newsletter was created by Lisa Lippold, MA, LADC, School Lead

Website: acp-mn.com
Phone: 612-455-8643