Dear Families,
We believe strongly in creating a supportive and respectful community at school, and a powerful way we do this is through Restorative Practices. These practices focus on repairing harm and strengthening relationships rather than just applying punishment.
The great news is that these strategies are incredibly effective and easy to use at home! Restorative conversations help children learn to take responsibility, understand how their actions affect others, and collaborate on solutions.
Here is some advice on how you can use simple restorative questions and approaches when conflicts arise in your family:
🏡 Using Restorative Questions at Home
When addressing a conflict, disagreement, or mistake, try pausing before jumping to consequences. Instead, use these questions to guide a productive conversation (adjusting the language for your child’s age):
1. What Happened? (The Story)
2. Who Was Affected? (Understanding Harm)
"Who has been affected by what you did?"
"How do you think this made your brother/sister/me feel?" (Focuses on empathy.)
"What are the thoughts/feelings of the people affected?"
3. How Can We Fix It? (Repairing Harm)
✅ Three Core Restorative Tips
Be Curious, Not Critical: Approach the conversation with genuine interest in understanding the situation, rather than immediately assigning blame. Use a calm tone and open body language.
Focus on the Behavior, Not the Child: Instead of saying, "You are messy," try saying, "Leaving your toys out caused me to trip." This separates the child's identity from the mistake.
Collaborate on a Solution: A good restorative agreement involves the person who caused the harm and the person who was harmed working together on a solution. This could be a verbal apology, helping to clean up the mess, or agreeing to a new rule.
By incorporating these simple, relationship-building conversations, you are helping your child develop essential social-emotional skills like empathy, responsibility, and conflict resolution—skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.
If you have any questions about the restorative practices we use at school, please don't hesitate to reach out!
