Kristi's Korner

you are my paradox. you are the love letter that i can't read anymore. the same one i refuse to throw away.

--unknown

I was, and frankly still am, resistant to social media. Prior to the pandemic, you would not find the name Kristi Arbetter on any of those sites. I didn't care what my friends in New York were having for dinner or what the girl who sat next to me in high school algebra was doing with her life. All of the reasons people gave me to join were actually the exact reasons I didn't want to join. However, in April, for a variety of reasons which would require a much longer post, I joined. And I will say, it is fascinating. I certainly am learning a lot about people. Not only do people really like to put their everyday lives out there, but boy oh boy are we, as a society, opinionated.

It seems as though we have become very binary. You are either this or that. There is no wading in grey anymore. Now, I am all over that with Coke or Pepsi because there is only one correct choice. But, besides that, most of us don't land on one thing or another. You may be a Democrat with a few Republican tendencies. You may be conservative about Covid but still go out to eat once a month. However, take a look at Facebook and it doesn't feel that way. People are very quick to state their opinion and fight to the end anyone who has an opposing view.

I read about a man who had to deal with finding middle ground in a very personal way. Chester Wenger was a 98 year old Mennonite minister who was asked by his son to marry him to the love of his life. That all sounds great until you find out that his son was marrying another man, and the Mennonites are a super traditional religion that has no room for that. So Wenger was faced with the most difficult of decisions. Was there a way to blend his belief in doctrine, yet honor who his son was? There is a faith practice called generous orthodoxy that acknowledges the importance of doctrine (orthodoxy) while at the same time realizing that generosity is also called for - that true faith must be adventurous and unafraid to examine issues to arrive at the "right" decision. This is generous orthodoxy.

What if we start looking at our students through this lens? They come to us in every which way and form, imperfect. We so often label our students. This labeling is done with the purpose of trying to better get to them what they need to be successful. However, just like most of us, they can't and shouldn't be placed in a certain box. There are so many stories in every one of them. A good dose of generous orthodoxy would probably not only serve our students, but humanity as well. And I will keep that in mind when I try to embrace you Coke lovers!

I may have shared this song before, but it is worth sharing again. It is such a haunting song about the paradox of love. This time I included the lyric video because the words are just so interesting to reflect on.

10 Simple Things That Make a Difference in Remote Learning: http://ajjuliani.com/10-simple-things-that-make-a-difference-in-remote-learning/

20 Fun Zoom Games: https://www.weareteachers.com/20-fun-zoom-games-for-kids/?utm_content=1602522989&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

Teaching Anti-Racism: https://www.iste.org/explore/teaching-anti-racism

7 Morning Routines for Teachers: https://www.weareteachers.com/morning-routines-teachers/

Jen Schilb:

What’s Good? So usually when someone asks me, “What’s good?” or “What’s new?” I usually respond with something like “Same sh*t different day.” I’m not one to really speak much to others about my thoughts and tend to keep things to myself but actually there are quite a few things that are good with me right now and maybe it’s time I put some of those thoughts down on paper. Now remember, I am a PE teacher, so all you ELA experts out there…..No judging on my writing skills ;)

I have been reflecting a lot lately and working on areas of my life to become a better person, wife and mom. Being a mom of 3 boys can be a job in itself, but I am learning to take some time for myself to help me focus and have a good start for my day. Every morning I wake up before anyone else in my house just to have my “me” time and I look forward to that every morning. I start out with a cup of coffee and then once the little one heads to daycare, I head out for a morning walk and listen to a podcast that gets me motivated.

I have been working on a few things, but I’ll talk about 2 of them: being content, and controlling the controllables.

While I am having my cup of coffee I started this thing where I open up my notes app on my phone and put down 2 things I am grateful for. I’ve started this a couple of weeks ago, so the list is starting to get pretty big. I am really noticing all of the things I am grateful for and being content with what I have. In about a week from you reading this, I’ll be 37 years old. Wow. I know they say time does go by fast, but really it does. Especially when you have children and one day you are holding them as babies, and then all of a sudden they are becoming little boys, and before you know it, I’ll have a teenager! So when I look back at my childhood I don’t remember “things” that I did or did not have, but I remember experiences. I am very big on making memories and traditions. As a mom, I want my boys to remember times that we’ve had with each other so maybe they will want to carry on some of them with their own families some day. Like Sunday night pizza in front of the TV, taking naps under the Christmas tree, playing table hockey out of popsicle sticks and skittles, and those are just a few. I am learning to be content and living my life, not someone else’s.

Another thing I’ve been reflecting on is controlling the controllables. Yes, this world is a crazy place, especially this day in age. But I can’t stress out over things I can’t control. I can’t control what goes on in the White House. I can’t control what someone else says or does. I can’t control this pandemic. I can’t control how people act. But what I CAN control is what MY actions are and what goes on in MY house. I can control and try and raise my 3 sons to grow up to be good men. I can teach them to open the door for someone and when someone holds the door for you, you say, “Thank you.” When you are passing someone on the street, say “Good morning.” I always tell my kids, and lead by example, that you should try and do one good deed per day. Another thing I can control, as an educator, is what goes on in my classroom. I can’t control what my students do or hear at home. But I CAN control what goes on in my gym (or virtual gym ;) One thing I love about being a P.E. teacher is that I get the chance to know EVERY student in the school. And over the years of teaching, just think of all of the lives I get to touch. So when students enter my room, I get to teach them to be kind. Learn how to win the right way and how to lose the right way. I get to group students together and have them realize they have things in common OR they might be different and that’s okay, because we are all different and still need to work together like a team. So worrying about things that I cannot control will keep me up at night, but knowing that I am doing my best to control what I can, makes me sleep peacefully.

Okay, so maybe Kristi opened up a can of worms with me on asking me about “What’s Good.” But maybe this is what I needed. Was to jot down my thoughts on paper. I have a lot that’s good right now and I am grateful for every one of them. Thank you for letting me share. ;)