Cougar Creek Newsletter
Bill Landry - Principal
My Kid is Pushing ALL My Buttons!
I know from experience that parenting is a tough job. Our children bring us joy, keep us young, warm our hearts, but sometimes frustrate us to our breaking point. Have you ever wondered why your child seems to melt down over something small, argue about every request, hit a sibling, or completely lose it when things don't go their way or their carrots are the wrong shade of orange? It's frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes downright baffling.
One helpful place to start is to remember that behavior is a form of communication. Children don't always have the words, emotional regulation skills, or problem-solving abilities to explain what they're feeling or what they need. Sometimes, their behavior does the talking for them.
A child who refuses to do something may feel overwhelmed or afraid of failing. A child who lashes out verbally or physically may be frustrated, embarrassed, or struggling to manage big emotions. A child who constantly seeks attention may be looking for connection. And a child who seems to get upset over everything may be tired, anxious, hungry, or having a harder time coping than we realize.
However, this doesn't mean every behavior has a hidden meaning, or that difficult behavior should be excused. That being said, understanding the reason behind a behavior can help us teach children a better way to respond.
What Can Parents/Guardians Do?
1. Get curious before jumping to conclusions. Instead of asking, “What's wrong with you?” try wondering, “What's making this so hard right now?” Look for patterns. Does the behavior happen when your child is tired, transitioning between activities, asked to stop something fun, or faced with a difficult task?
2. Stay calm and set clear limits. Children need to know that all feelings are okay, but all behaviors are not. You might say, “I can see you're angry. It's okay to be angry, but hitting is not the way to resolve it. Let's figure out another way to handle this.” You can acknowledge a feeling without accepting hurtful behavior.
3. Teach the skill your child is missing. If your child hits when frustrated, practice asking for help or taking a break. If your child struggles when told no, practice handling disappointment (this can be a hard one). If transitions are difficult, give warnings, set a timer, and establish predictable routines. Children need opportunities to practice these skills when they're calm, not just reminders when they're upset.
4. Connect before you correct. When emotions are running high, lengthy lectures and punishments often accomplish very little. Help your child calm down first. Once everyone is ready, talk about what happened, who was affected, and what your child can do differently next time. Connection doesn't mean giving in; it means helping your child get back to a place where learning is possible.
5. Connect with us! If challenging behaviors are also happening at school, share what you notice at home and ask what staff are seeing at school. Together, we may identify patterns and develop consistent strategies that help your child succeed in both places.
One Final Thought
Children are still learning how to navigate a complicated world with developing brains and big emotions. Sometimes, challenging behavior is a sign that a child needs a skill, support, connection, or a different way to communicate.
Our job isn't simply to stop the behavior. It's to help children understand what they're feeling, learn what to do with those feelings, and practice making better choices.
The next time your child's behavior pushes every button you have, pause and ask yourself: “What might my child be trying to tell me, and how can I help them say it in a better way?” That question won't magically fix every difficult moment, but it can be a powerful place to start.
Ian Miller
Dean of Students
Library News
Dear CCE Families,
Thank you to everyone, parents, staff, students, and volunteers, who supported our Book Fair Fundraiser this Fall! Special thanks to the CCE PTA for promoting the fair and organizing our amazing volunteers! The Book Fair Fundraiser was a huge success, and all the support allows us to add more books for our wonderful library! Additionally, any books that were donated by families to the library are already in our library system and may be checked out starting this week! We had 18 new books donated to our library from this fair, a historical record for CCE! These new books help inspire our students to love reading. Thank you all so much for your generosity!
Keely Hall
Librarian
Cougar Creek Elementary
Remember to turn in your ballot!
Snohomish County Elections will mail ballots to voters on October 9. Be sure to check your mail and return your ballot. Official ballot drop boxes are the most reliable and direct way to return your ballot. If you prefer to mail your ballot (no stamp needed), Snohomish County Elections recommends mailing at least one week before Election Day to ensure a timely postmark.
One convenient option is the ballot drop box across the street from Lakewood Middle School. Ballot drop boxes close at 8 p.m. on Election Day.
Need to register to vote or update your address? October 26 is the last day to register or update your voter information online for the November 3 election. Learn more at votewa.gov.