Jodie Maddox

I PARTNER with parents and schools.

I EMPOWER them to make decisions within their sphere of influence.

I PROVIDE reliable support, with effective strategies, to gain desired results.

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Dear Friends,

As parents, we often try to avoid power struggles. Conflict is exhausting, and it can feel easier to give in just to keep the peace. But not all power struggles are negative. Some are worth embracing because they help shape who our children become.

This month’s newsletter focuses on four important areas where parents should feel confident about holding firm boundaries: family life and routines, diet and nutrition, sleep, and technology. These struggles are not about control — they are about development. Consistency in these areas helps children build self-regulation, identity, responsibility, and a strong sense of belonging.

Children may push against boundaries, but those boundaries create safety and clarity. Not every power struggle needs to be fought — but some are worth standing firm, because they help our children grow into healthy, thoughtful adults.

With A Grateful Heart,

Jodie Maddox Parent Coach and Education Consultant

Most parents try to avoid power struggles — understandably so. Conflict is exhausting. It can feel easier to give in, negotiate one more time, or let something slide just to keep the peace.

But not all power struggles are bad.

In fact, there are a few power struggles that are worth the tension, because they are not about control — they are about development. These are the moments when parents teach children how families function, how boundaries work, and how to live in a way that supports both independence and responsibility.

When parents consistently hold firm in a few essential areas, children and teens develop:

• A stronger sense of belonging and security

• Respect for boundaries — their own and others.

• Executive functioning skills such as self-awareness, impulse control, and prioritization

• Better emotional regulation

• Healthier brains and bodies

• Greater independence over time

The goal is not to win the argument. The goal is to raise capable, healthy young people.

Here are four areas where parents should feel confident setting clear, consistent, non-negotiable boundaries.

1. Making Family Life, Traditions, and Routines a Priority

Children thrive on predictability and connection. Family routines communicate safety and belonging. When parents protect family time, expectations, and shared traditions, children learn that they are part of something larger than themselves. This includes:

• Family relationships and respectful communication

• Shared meals and time together

• Bedtimes and daily routines

• Chores and responsibilities

• Faith life, religion, culture, and family traditions

• Clear expectations about behavior and contribution

Boundaries around screen time, curfews, and responsibilities are not punishments — they are structures that help children learn balance and responsibility. Children may push back because routines limit immediate wants; but over time these routines build security and emotional stability.

2. Prioritizing a Healthy Diet

Food fuels the brain and body. Nutrition plays a direct role in attention, mood regulation, energy levels, and learning. Making mealtime a priority teaches children that food is not just convenience or entertainment — it is care for the body. Healthy boundaries include:

• Eating real, whole foods when possible

• Prioritizing protein, fresh vegetables, and lower sugar meals

• Being intentional about breakfast and lunch on school days

• Involving children in meal planning and preparation

• Prioritizing good hydration, limiting sugary juices, pop, and sports drinks

It is also helpful to teach the difference between a snack and a treat:

• A snack fuels the brain and body.

• A treat is fun food enjoyed occasionally but provides little nutritional value.

3. Protecting Sleep Schedules and Routines

Sleep is one of the most overlooked foundations of child development. Adequate sleep supports attention, learning, memory, emotional regulation, behavior, and overall mental and physical health.

Poor sleep habits are strongly connected to attention difficulties, behavior challenges, and increased risk for anxiety and depression. Children rarely choose sleep on their own. This is an area where parents must lead the conversation. Building and protecting a sleep routine means:

• Consistent bedtimes and wake times

• Predictable evening routines

• Limiting or eliminating screens before bed

• Reducing blue light exposure in the evening

Recommended sleep guidelines per age (American Academy of Pediatrics):

• Infants (4–12 months): 12–16 hours (including naps)

• Ages 1–2: 11–14 hours (including naps)

• Ages 3–5: 10–13 hours (including naps)

• Ages 6–12: 9–12 hours

• Ages 13–18: 8–10 hours

4. Setting Firm Expectations Around Technology

Technology is part of modern childhood, but children and teens are not developmentally prepared to manage unlimited access without guidance. Just like learning to ride a bike or stay home alone, technology use requires gradual independence paired with supervision and accountability.

Healthy technology boundaries include:

• Monitoring devices, apps, and online interactions

• Limiting screen time and device access

• Keeping devices out of bedrooms at night

• Teaching children how to make safe and responsible choices online

When parents consistently provide structure, technology becomes a tool for creativity, learning, and connection rather than distraction or harm. In April 2024, the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health introduced the 5 Cs of Media Guidance (Child, Content, Calm, Crowding, and Communication). This website is a great resource for age-appropriate boundaries, red flags to watch for, and other resources to help maintain healthy tech boundaries.

If your child pushes back in these areas, it does not mean you are doing something wrong. It often means you are holding a boundary that matters. Children test limits, but limits also help them feel safe.

Not every "power play or struggle" needs to be fought — but these four are worth your time and attention. When parents stay calm, consistent, and clear, they are not creating conflict; they are creating structure. And structure is what allows children to grow into healthy, independent adults.

For your mental health (and your child), we must also model appropriate impulse control and behavior. Sometimes conversations shift away from teaching or setting a boundary and become more about winning an argument. When this happens, both parent and child can become stuck in emotion rather than moving toward a solution.

Part of effective parenting is knowing when to hold firm — and when to step back and reset.

Power struggles often escalate because neither person wants to feel like they are losing. When people feel disrespected or unheard, they become defensive. Feelings begin to drive the conversation, and it becomes difficult to think clearly or solve the problem productively.

This is where parents can model the behavior they are asking for. Telling isn’t teaching. Children learn more from what we do than from what we say.

Reset the Brain Before Responding

When stress rises, our emotional brain takes over. Before responding, pause and reset your stress response:

• Take a slow breath in, and a long exhale out.

• Remind yourself: I have control over my response.

• Shift from reacting to choosing how you want to respond.

In her book Let Them, Mel Robbins describes a simple but powerful strategy:

• Let them — allow others to be who they are. You cannot control another person’s emotions or reactions.

• Let me — focus on what you can control. Choose your behavior, your tone, and your next action.

This shift helps calm the nervous system and allows the brain to re-engage and think logically.

Here are a few things YOU can control:

• Your reaction

• Your tone of voice

• Your words

• Your mood

• Your goals

• Your behavior

• Your thoughts

• Your boundaries

• How much energy you give a situation

When parents stay regulated, children eventually learn to do the same.

Ways to Avoid Unnecessary Power Struggles

• Walking away and returning to the conversation later

• Talking less instead of explaining more

• Removing emotion and reminding yourself of the goal

• Not fighting for the last word

• Modeling the behavior you want to see

• Validating feelings without agreeing

• Compromising when appropriate while keeping the goal in mind

• Acknowledging positives more often than correcting negatives

• Staying on topic and avoiding smaller side battles

• Keeping expectations realistic

• Focusing on the bigger picture rather than the moment

• Offering choices without turning them into negotiations

Power struggles lose their intensity when one person chooses calm over control.

The goal is not to win — it is to teach. When parents remain steady, respectful, and intentional, children learn how to handle conflict in healthy ways that will serve them long after childhood.

Feeling alone or overwhelmed by the number of decisions you’re making for yourself, your family, or your work? Ready for change but unsure where to begin?

You don’t have to figure it out alone. I partner with parents and schools to create space for thoughtful, strategic change. Together, over the course of 10 weeks, we will discover what matters most, dream about what’s possible, design a clear path forward, and create a plan that supports and empowers you.

Contact me today for your free consultation jodiemaddoxicoach@gmail.com

Are you looking for a fresh perspective in your classroom? Are you an administrator seeking strategic, scaffolded support for a first-year teacher, a new-career-change teacher, or a veteran teacher ready for renewed growth?

Instructional coaching provides personalized, practical support designed to strengthen instruction, build confidence, and create meaningful professional growth.

5 Great Reasons to Hire an Instructional Coach

• Provides systematic support tailored to individual goals and classroom needs

• Promotes ongoing professional growth through reflection and skill development

• Creates weekly accountability to support implementation and progress

• Offers a neutral, outside perspective with thoughtful guidance and feedback

• Provides an easy way to learn and practice new strategies in a supportive environment

Instructional coaching is not about evaluating performance and writing performance goals — it is collaborative, supportive, and focused on helping teachers grow in ways that feel practical and sustainable. Contact me today for your free consultation jodiemaddoxicoach@gmail.com

Email: jodiemaddoxicoach@gmail.com
Website: jodiemaddoxicoach.com
Phone: (913)908-8220
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