16 Tips for Drama-Free Parenting, Part 2
6. Be aware that tween girls usually harbor great anxiety about adolescence. One study found that tween boys looked forward to adolescence and the strength, power, independence and prestige they would develop. Tween girls, on the other hand, dreaded adolescence, fearing physical changes, their new vulnerability to men, and the pressure to be attractive. Most girls don’t know how to put these anxieties into words, but they feel them, even as they beg to wear skimpy outfits so they’ll be “cool.” Your daughter may want to be a hottie, but inside she knows full well that she isn’t ready for the attention that will bring.
7. Be sure your child is getting nine hours of sleep each night. Most tweens begin to find it harder to fall asleep at night. When kids stay up late, their stress hormones like cortisol kick in, which makes it harder to fall asleep. The problem is that cortisol stays in the system and makes them edgy the next day; it also contributes to depression, anxiety, and weight gain. The famous moodiness of teenagers is partly attributable to late bedtimes, which have become standard practice in our culture.
8. Limit computer use. As tween girls begin to lose interest in pretend play and the other games that occupied their earlier years, many of them begin to spend more time on the computer, and it isn’t unusual for them to fall into the grip of a computer addiction. You probably know to limit computer chatting to friends, and to the hours after homework is completed.
9. Nurture your child’s passions. Anything he really cares about and can throw himself into is protective, a place to feel competent, a place to push himself, a place to lose himself when life can be overwhelming. Does he like to play basketball? Write? Draw? Do whatever it takes to encourage him. It’s critical that this be something he is drawn to, of course, not something his parents are pushing.
10. Don’t let your child turn into a couch potato. Regular exercise has tremendous benefits, from getting the metabolism moving to balancing raging hormones and helping her fall asleep easily at night. Make a habit of physical activity every day, whether a bike ride, soccer game, family hike or time on the treadmill. But be warned: You’ll probably have to join in. Instead of resenting that, see it as a way to stay connected.
*Look for more drama free parenting tips in next week’s Enews!
