At the June 2024 meeting, the United States Conference of Catholic bishops approved Listen, Teach, Send: A National Pastoral Framework for Ministries with Youth and with Young Adults. This morning I sent individual copies of this letter to the nine bishops who sit on the committee that wrote the document, the four elected leaders of the USCCB, and the bishop chaplain of the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers.

This letter is intended to remain in the private forum. If you would like me to send a personal copy to your bishop, then please let me know. Alternatively, you may copy any text here to send your own letter.

Dear Your Excellency,

I write to you as a Catholic high school teacher for the last 25 years and now a candidate for the Doctor of Ministry degree at The Catholic University of America. My area of expertise is helping Catholic schools, parishes, and families navigate the experiences of young persons who identify as sexual or gender minorities.

In your role as [insert role], I would like to share some feedback on Listen, Teach, Send. While the document offers a clear and practical framework for ministry, it carries forward many of the obvious tensions surrounding sexual and gender minorities in relation to our church. Below are three of my thoughts to add to this conversation. I offer these in the spirit of Listen, Teach, Send, as it encourages “pastoral leaders ... to advocate for and assist youth and young adults, especially those at risk and living on the margins of society” (19).

First, on page 11, the document calls for partnering with parents, families, and family ministries. This is essential, but so too is partnering with credentialed experts in related fields that specifically support young persons; otherwise, our gifts of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding remain limited. For example, the document uses the phrase “committing suicide” (16-17), which is now roundly rejected by major health and mental health associations. This suggests we are still behind on best practices for talking about some of the most critical issues affecting the lives of young persons. If we are serious about pastoral care, then this language should be revised quickly.

Second, the document several times lifts up those who suffer on the margins due to racism, prejudice, poverty, immigration, disability, or mental health. Missing from this list is any reference to sexual or gender minorities. The population-based data from the CDC highlights that this is the most at-risk group of young people in the United States. Our church knows this—as does the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers—but we choose to remain culpably silent in acknowledging this data. If “each of them has a unique name, face, and identity” as a child of God (11), then we must be willing to say “I see you and call you by name.”

Third, and most poignantly, the section titled “Sharing the Truth in Love” ostensibly bears witness to a Catholic narrative that sexual and gender minorities continue to choose their identity. Reading the paragraphs on this issue confronts us with these language constructs: emotions, choices, lust, overcome, disordered sexual desires, sexual activity, same-sex activity, sexual acts, sufferings, going in a wrong direction, turn away from sin, common assumptions (28-30). All of this falls short of understanding human development and the reality that sexuality and gender identity are not defined solely by behavior but also by emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual connectedness. But we continually treat it as a matter of behavior. All persons in the church are called to chastity, of course, but on this issue we continue to double down on mandates that the “truths need to be explained” (30). On this issue alone we are guided to teach not listen. Notably, in the use of Christus Vivit we are missing one of Pope Francis’s most profound statements: “Young people need to be approached with the grammar of love, not by being preached at” (CV 211). Only people who work directly and successfully with the young can actually understand what this means in practice.

Previous documents on youth ministry have borne the same criticism. We are failing at “translation into pastoral practice” for this most vulnerable population of young persons and their families by talking about them instead of with them (14). St. John Bosco is quoted on page 18, but more prophetically he said, “It is not enough to love the young; they must know that they are loved.” Sure, Listen, Teach, Send states that “young people are invited to be part of a family of faith” (32), but there is a difference between inviting young persons to the banquet (which can happen from a distance) and bringing them forward as sacred offerings (which requires closeness). I still believe that our church can do better in this area of pastoral ministry to young persons and families.

On this matter in our church it is not easy to know where to turn, nor is it clear if this kind of feedback is valuable. Nevertheless, I send this message with humility in hope that it might be received with grace. Those of us working within the church have a responsibility to stand together with our bishops as witnesses to our one, holy, catholic, and apostolic faith.

Jesus came so that we “might be one” (Jn 17:11), and I pray that God continues to be with you on this journey of learning, faith, and service.

Yours respectfully in Christ,

[David Palmieri]