Welcome to the School Counseling monthly resource on RESILIENCY, parents and guardians! Each month a new resource for Resiliency will be created for families to help build resilience and self-confidence. Please look at Werner’s site under Learning Pages Counselor for more information.
We want to share information about Habits and Building a Resilient Mind.
“A habit is a regularly repeated behavior, often performed automatically and without conscious thought. It's a tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.”
Seven Habits for A Resilient Mind
https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2021/04/06/seven-habits-for-a-resilient-mind/
Make a new healthy habit:
• Decide on a goal that you would like to achieve for your health.
• Make it easy and start small.
• Choose a specific time of day and where to start each day so that it is easy to remember.
• Make it something you connect with and are motivated to do.
Again, I am a big believer in Love and Logic. The following article is from their subscribed email. Developing the habit and letting kids be their own problem solvers is a huge gift. Chores are also a great habit to instill in our children. There are many resources about appropriate chores for all ages.
How to Overcome Entitlement and Build Responsibility: Teaching Kids Accountability and Self-Control
There seems to be an epidemic of entitlement in kids. When kids are held captive by the beast of entitlement, they must be encouraged to take positive risks that provide opportunities to develop different beliefs. The only way to see the benefits of personal responsibility is by doing something positive and experiencing the intrinsic joy it provides.
Entitled children must also experience difficulties so they learn that they can overcome challenges through perseverance. Love and Logic helps parents replace the sense of entitlement in their kids by guiding them to develop healthy expectations. Here are some examples of how you can help your kids shift from a sense of entitlement to healthy expectations.
Expect Kids to Solve Their Problems
Whenever kids encounter difficulties, ask lots of questions like, “What do you think you’re going to do?” and “What’s your plan?” You can also add, “I’m interested to see how you solve this.” As kids experience challenges, convey the expectation that they will work through them. This will prevent them from expecting someone else to solve all their problems.
Expect Kids to Contribute
Chores are the #1 antidote to entitlement. Kids who contribute appreciate what they have and are far less likely to take the contributions of others for granted. Get them contributing to the household and family, and watch entitlement disappear.
Expect Kids to Earn the Things They Get
This doesn’t mean we don’t give kids gifts or commit unsolicited acts of love. But for things they often ask for, we can ask how they plan to pay for them or earn them. From purchases, to playing sports, to driving, avoid making things free. Instead, expect kids to work to earn all or part and see if they don’t appreciate those things the most.
When kids expect others to solve their problems, entitlement grows. One of the most effective ways to shift that mindset is by giving kids the tools to think for themselves. (This is a great habit to form while children are young and to build resiliency.)
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Julie Flemister
Werner School Counselor
jflemist@psdschools.org
970-488-5610
