Happy Holidays to you and your family!
The Holiday season has officially begun and it can be a pretty busy time for all of us. During this time, let's not forget to take care of ourselves! In this newsletter, you will find resources on how to stay resilient over the holidays, relieve stress, express gratitude, and practice self-care!
For many of us, holidays represent a time to gather, celebrate and reconnect with loved ones. Celebrations and family reunions can be a blessing, but can feel stressful too. You may need to navigate responsibilities to host guests, buy and wrap gifts, and check off those never-ending to-do lists!! Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself and find JOY this holiday season:
1. Be intentional
With so many expectations, you may feel pressured to make the holidays perfect for everyone. Take a moment to prioritize which traditions are most important and be intentional about where you want your focus to be. Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
- What are the most important traditions or rituals I want to honor this year?
- Who do I want to spend meaningful time with?
- What do I want to make time for during my time off?
- How do I want to feel and how can I help make that happen?
- Are there any expectations I want to let go of this year?
You may need to be more selective about how you spend your time and energy in order to be fully present with your loved ones.
2. Unplug
When our minds are focused on things like work, preparing for family, cooking and tracking down gifts, we can miss out on the small moments that make the holiday season magical. This year, try to focus on the little things to stay fully present, whether it’s snuggling with a blanket to watch a movie, enjoying a hot beverage by the fire, playing a game with your family, or getting lost in a book.
Here are some quick tips to help you and your family unplug:
- Turn off work notifications, including email, chats and work phones.
- Store your laptop somewhere you can’t easily see it while you’re on vacation.
- Limit time on social media or the news while you’re with friends or family.
- Set time limits for party planning and online shopping.
3. Practice Community Care
Self-care focuses on how we take care of ourselves. Community care emphasizes how we can collectively take care of each other. Both are equally important. Remember to ask others to contribute to the planning and hosting responsibilities.
- Choose a potluck for dinner or split the cost for catering
- Come together to prepare a meal and clean up
- Ask for help with transportation for out-of-town guests
4. Prioritize your own peace
Here are some ways to minimize difficult family dynamics or tensions during holiday celebrations in order to make your own peace and enjoyment a priority:
- Establish boundaries by agreeing to avoid specific questions or topic areas and setting limits
- Choosing “and” over “but.” If you find yourself in a difficult conversation with a family member, try to emphasize the word “and” when sharing your point of view. For instance, you may say something like, “I enjoy spending time with you, and at times I get uncomfortable talking politics.” Oftentimes, when we use the word “but,” it can put up a wall or make others feel defensive because it negates whatever you said first.
- Manage substances. The holidays can be perceived as a time to indulge, or in some cases, overindulge. While overindulgence may not have long-lasting negative effects on some, for others it may impact their family rifts, mental health and well-being.
5. Embrace an abundant mindset
Fostering an abundant mindset can be helpful during the holiday season when we face additional pressures to fill our shopping carts. This year, take some time to not only notice but celebrate the abundance of what you already have, whether it’s the possessions you own, the relationships you have or the activities you’re able to enjoy. When we feel a sense of abundance in our lives, it’s also easier to give generously.
6. Make time for what you love
Make a list of the activities or hobbies you truly enjoy that include things that feel mentally, physically or spiritually rewarding. This season, pay attention to the things that you genuinely enjoy and set time aside to pursue them.
7. Honor those who aren't here
If someone you love has passed away, the holidays can bring a mix of emotions. Allow yourself to not only feel your grief but cherish the fond memories you’ve made together. Here are some ways to handle grief during the holidays:
- Talk about the person and what you miss most about them.
- Share funny stories or memories that you have of them.
- Honor that person by hosting a small vigil, visiting their grave site or going to their favorite place in town.
- Create traditions around the holidays that make it feel like they are remembered and included.
- Seek support from family, friends or professional services.
Resource: University of Colorado Boulder, Health and Wellness Services
For individuals struggling with mental health, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time. A NAMI study showed that 64% of people with mental illness report holidays make their conditions worse. Some stressors that are triggering may include:
Pressure to meet social expectations
This can lead to frustration and even resentment as people try to meet unrealistic expectations.
Increased Financial Burden
The pressure to buy gifts for loved ones, travel to visit family and friends, and host elaborate celebrations can strain even the healthiest of budgets. For those already struggling to make ends meet, the added expense of the holidays can be crippling.
Family Dynamics
The holidays are often seen as a time of family togetherness, but for some people, spending time with family is a reminder of past hurts or current disagreements. Others may feel pressured to put on a happy face when they are feeling lonely or sad.
Changes in Routine
For those who rely on routine to manage their mental health, any changes in habit could lead to increased stress levels. In addition, the cold weather and shorter days can cause people to become more sedentary which can lead to feelings of depression.
Cultural Differences
For people from different cultural backgrounds, the holidays may bring about confusion and discomfort. Cultural minorities may feel pressure to assimilate to “fit in” with the majority during this time of year, which can be alienating.
Here are some signs to look for that may identify individuals who might be struggling:
• Increased anxiety or irritability
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and fatigue
• Changes in appetite
• Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope
• Withdrawal from social activities or an inability to enjoy activities that were once enjoyable
• Substance abuse
• Suicidal thoughts or ideation
The holidays can be a difficult time for many people. It's important to take the time to understand how the holiday season may affect your loved ones. A little extra attention and support during this time can make all the difference in helping loved ones stay healthy and enjoy the holiday season. Encourage these individuals to seek help from a mental health provider if needed.
Resource: therapybrands.com
Slow down and Practice Mindfulness
Notice what brings joy. The more attention you give to what you appreciate, especially the small things, the more reasons for joy and gratitude you’ll notice everywhere—even long after the holidays have passed.
Keep These 3 Mindful Phrases in Your Pocket for Challenging Interactions
Three attitudes you can cultivate to find some inner calm this holiday:
- This is hard. I can do my best, and I don’t have to be perfect.
- I wish for this person to be healthy, safe, and happy in life.
- This Life is Short. If this person were to die tomorrow, how would I want to be present with them today?
Navigating this emotionally difficult terrain may feel like scaling a mountain. It takes energy and can often feel draining. As much as possible during this tough time, continue to eat well, exercise, and maintain wellness practices.
When we are celebrating this holiday season, there are steps that family members can take to create a safe, healthy space for loved ones in recovery:
1. Keep Holiday Plans Simple
Be mindful of your loved ones in recovery as you make your holiday plans. Experiencing holiday events for the first time may be uncomfortable. Try to be mindful of your loved one’s schedule, such as their AA meetings or recovery group events and plan your family gatherings accordingly. Sticking to smaller celebrations with family and friends may relieve some pressure and allow for more meaningful experiences for loved ones to reconnect and renew.
2. Communicate
Include your loved one in recovery in the planning process and open up discussions about their needs and expectations to help avoid surprises and unnecessary triggers or conflicts.
3. Promote Peace
The holidays naturally elevate our emotions at almost every level. Set the tone for your holiday season by embracing peace. Take necessary steps to remove the stigma, such as informing and educating the family about addiction, treatment and recovery.
4. Offer Space
Provide a designated space for loved ones to retreat to when needed. Maybe they need a few minutes of privacy to meditate or call their sponsor. Do not take any such requests personally. These are necessary and normal actions in their recovery.
5. Embrace Recovery
Seeking support and care for yourself can often be the most beneficial way to help your loved one and the entire family. This holiday season, engage your family member in recovery to help develop new traditions and opportunities that bring the family together, strengthen relationships, spread holiday cheer and produce meaningful memories that will last a lifetime.
Resource: valleyhope.org
Contact Information
Email: mgroden@councilsepa.org
Website: www.councilsepa.org
Location: 4459 West Swamp Road, Doylestown, PA, USA
Phone: 215-230-8218