"Children have never been very good at listening to
their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
- James Baldwin
Children are mirrors; they reflect back to us everything we say and do. We now know that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. Human beings are like tape recorders. Every word we hear, everything we experience, is permanently recorded in our subconscious. Whenever adults speak, we are being role models for the children in our presence. What we speak is what we teach. Children record every word we ever say to them or in front of them. The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak.
Children imitate parents, family members, friends, caregivers, teachers, and television. The more children are out in the world, the more models they will be exposed to. While we can't keep children from ever seeing models of the kind of behavior we don't want them to imitate, we can be more selective of what models we expose them to, especially television. Since parents are the primary models in the early years, we must work on modeling the behavior we expect and not modeling behavior we don't want to see in them.
Six Ways to Teach Your Child Respect
1. Respect your children
If parents are sarcastic and dismissive, they will display the same behavior. This does not mean you must be on the same level; you can maintain authority but treat them with respect.
2. Respect the adults in your life.
The relationships parent display between themselves and other relatives is enormous when modeling respect for your child. Despite your differences, treating each other with love and respect sets the best example of respect for your child.
3. Spend more time teaching love and kindness than teaching rules.
Children who are taught the connection between love and discipline can accept consequences more easily than those who are governed exclusively by “do it because I said so.”
4. Live with integrity.
Children are master observers: being kind to others, charitable giving, helping others, being responsible, talking positively about others when they are not present are some of the ways we build character our kids will respond to with respect.
5. Don’t be a pushover.
If you let your children walk all over you and you do not follow through on discipline when they tantrum or argue and you let them treat you disrespectfully, they will not respect you!
6. Don’t stoop to their level.
If children see you having tantrums, whining, pouting and acting like they do, they’ll likely have disrespect for you. Keep calm and avoid yelling. Calmly respond to their misbehavior, “We do not treat/talk to each other that way. Take time to think about what you said.” www.connectionparenting.com
