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Metamorphosis

An analogy within a cocoon ! Parenting Styles

Metamorphosis An analogy within a cocoon ! Parenting Styles

met·a·mor·pho·sis

/ˌmedəˈmôrfəsəs/

noun

  • 1.(in an insect or amphibian) the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.

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The Process...

The struggle is growth...

In the journey of the butterfly comes many analogies and lessons of life.


When I used to ask my mom a question...

9 out of 10 times she would say

"Figure it out"

it was one of the greatest gifts she ever gave me - Thanks, Mom


This research, images, and stories speak of that process.


Enjoy and remember...


It is the climb in which we grow...


RKT

Richard Kerry Thompson

Mr T

monarch butterfly emerging from chrysalis

Struggle is Good! I Want to Fly!

Struggle is Good! I Want to Fly!

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.


The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.


One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.


The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.


At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!


The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!


As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.


But neither happened!


The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.


It never was able to fly…


As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.


As you go through school, and life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.


As instructors our gift to you is stronger wings…

Butterfly Struggle Story

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime
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http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/give_a_man_a_fish_and_you_feed_him_for_a_day;_teach_a_man_to_fish_and_you_feed_him_for_a_lifetime
 » 15 Common Cognitive Distortions - Psych Central

» 15 Common Cognitive Distortions - Psych Central

What's a cognitive distortion and why do so many people have them? Cognitive distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn't

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Are You Empowering or Enabling?

Relationships relating to the family dynamic. By Karen Khaleghi, Ph.D....

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Miley Cyrus - The Climb ( Lyrics/Songtext )
Responsible For/Responsible To...
Click on link above for graduate level studies on Responsibility...
Enabling Behavior...
Click on link above for graduate level studies on enabling behavior...

A Step Further...

A step further would be to help students and parents understand that struggle is not equitable. Everyone has to struggle more in areas of weakness.

And we can't always see where another struggles.

- Joan

Something to ponder...

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

With the likes of Mark Zuckerberg being the poster boy of drop-out billionaires, it’s easy to see why many students seem to think that they no longer need school to succeed in life. But closer inspection shows that their path to success is muddier than one would expect. And besides, we can’t all be Mark Zuckerberg. We can’t all be Steve Jobs. But students can try to pave their own way to success and school can help with that.


“Every child is gifted. They just unwrap their packages at different times.” – Anonymous

Students can’t help but compare themselves with the topnotchers in class. While some obviously spend a lot of time studying, some students barely study and still manage to get good grades. Then there are students, who no matter how hard they try still scramble to get decent grades. They need to understand that students have different modes and strengths in learning, and sometimes formal education doesn’t work for many students. But every student has a talent and a skill that need time to develop

.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

It’s easy to get disheartened with a failed Math exam, but it’s just one exam out of many. A low grade for an English essay may be discouraging, but there’s always a next time. What students need to keep in mind is that getting bad grades and making mistakes can only lead to further learning. There’s always room for growth and time to correct their mistakes. One failure doesn’t mean it’s endgame already.


“You can do anything, but not everything.” – Anonymous

With so many options for young minds to explore and wander, students are often pressured to be great in everything. But that’s not something mere mortals can do. There’s nothing wrong with being a Math wizard and finding difficulty penning a coherent essay. What students can do is to focus on what they’re good at and once they’ve mastered this skill, they can go ahead and try other things. They’ll feel burned out if they take too much activities on their plate all at the same time.


“You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.” – Booker T. Washington

There’s a reason why a B+ in a subject you find difficult seems a lot sweeter than the easy A+ in your PE class. When you work hard for something, an excellent result may not be quick to attain but even a satisfactory result is enough to send students in pure bliss.


“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

Students are often disheartened by bad results, but giving up without even finishing their tasks means they won’t even get any result, besides a failing mark. It’s always better to give learning a shot before deeming it as something they’ll be bad at. They may fail the first time, but they’ll eventually get better at it.


“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” – Jack Canfield

To reiterate the earlier point, students miss out more when don’t even give it a try. Many students have this mindset that they’ll fail anyway, so why exert an effort in studying? But the fact that they don’t even open their books and rarely listen to discussions means that they didn’t even bother giving it a shot. Efforts may not always reap the best rewards, but it’s better than none.


“Tough times never last. But tough people do.” – Dr. Robert Schuller

School is just a part of life. It’s just a phase as crucial as it may be, and there’s more learning that will happen once you graduate from your alma matter. Don’t think that it’s the end of the line, because you’re just starting. School may toughen you up, but you need that to survive.

So students, keep your chin up because school isn’t the be-all and end-all of your life. The difficulties will pass and you only need to hold on.


Thank you MT for this submission above

The Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews
https://youtu.be/NG2zyeVRcbs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrL8ndJRgcQ

Parenting Parenting

6 Styles of Parenting: What Kind of Parent Are You? 6 Styles of Parenting: What Kind of Parent Are You?

6 Styles of Parenting: What Kind of Parent Are You?

6 Styles of Parenting: What Kind of Parent Are You?

2 2. Snow Plow Parenting This type of parenting comes with some negative connotations, yet it’s widely adopted by parents on a regular basis.

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1. Attachment Parenting

1. Attachment Parenting

Attachment parenting is highly encouraged by doctors and midwives as a great way to bond a newborn infant to it’s mother. It’s general goal is to be in close contact with your baby as much as possible, to know and understand your child’s needs as they occur. This includes baby wearing, skin to skin time, breastfeeding (if possible), and safe co-sleeping.

Dr. Sears suggests that attachment parenting may even lower the risk of SIDS, and says this “parenting style can enhance the development of a baby’s physiological control systems and increase mother’s awareness to subtle changes in her baby’s physiology, [and] lower the risk of SIDS…attachment parenting does all this.” Attachment parenting has been said to increase a child’s awareness to the needs of others. While the flip side is that it’s also said that this style can create separation anxiety.

2. Snow Plow Parenting

2. Snow Plow Parenting

This type of parenting comes with some negative connotations, yet it’s widely adopted by parents on a regular basis. Snow plow parenting refers to a parent’s desire to clear out of the way any issues, dangers, resistance, and other obstacles for their child. It can be tricky when a parent’s duty is to keep their child safe, happy, successful because it can discourage children from learning proper life skills.

Snow plow parenting is usually driven by a parent seeking their child’s success. This style of parenting has even gone as far as writing a college-age child’s university application for them. Aiding your child’s success by limiting obstacles is a common parenting trait, completely clearing the path is when snow plow parenting can become an issue.

The Cold Truth About Snowplow Parenting

The Cold Truth About Snowplow Parenting

If you’re overly involved in smoothing the path for your child and making sure that life is always happy, happy, happy, here’s why you may be doing more harm than good as well as four simple steps for getting out of the way.

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Are You A Snow Plow Parent? 7 Modern Parenting Terms

Are You A Snow Plow Parent? 7 Modern Parenting Terms

This glossary of modern parenting terms from around the world provides a cautionary tale through definitions. Could a Snow Plow Parent accidently raise a...

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Tiger Parenting

3. Tiger Parenting

Tiger parenting refers to a strict form of parenting. This style can create some confusion around how to parent with rules and boundaries, while not taking it too far. Tiger parents create strong, often unattainable expectations for their children. While rules and strictness at home may be the approach, it can also have negative results due to the extreme form of parenting.

WebMD advises that with Tiger parenting you have to be cautious with your words so as to not harm a child’s self esteem. There’s also signs to watch out for in your child’s behavior (i.e., disengagement from parents or not bringing friends over) that can show you’ve taken Tiger parenting too far. It’s important to remember that children thrive on rules and structure, and without them, they can become difficult to childrear. It’s just finding the balance between proper guidance and rules, and showing children unconditional love while having expectations.

4. Free-Range Parenting

4. Free-Range Parenting

Have you ever heard of free range chickens? Well, there’s free range kids, too! Free range parenting refers to an old school approach to childhood. Playing outside on the road until the street lights come on, walking to a friends house or the corner store alone, and even riding the bus or subway alone at a younger age. This was a very common method of parenting in the 70’s and 80’s.

Today, times have changed, and this style of parenting can be criticized for being unsafe and neglectful. A free range parent, however, has the understanding of their child’s ability and awareness and allows them to make conscious decisions on their own, often without being monitored. The benefits are in a child’s ability to navigate issues and safety on their own, without having someone to do it for them. It’s basic life skill. On the other hand, it does leave your child open to potential dangers, and behavior on their part that you may not be aware of or condone.

5. Helicopter Parenting

5. Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter parenting is exactly as it sounds…hovering. Parents who gravitate towards this method don’t always choose, it’s more of a symptom of their own fear and worry. While helicopter parenting begins in infancy and toddlerhood, the intention of careful monitoring a child’s every move and need can be incredible attentive.

Helicopter parenting, which is similar to snow plow parenting, eliminates a child’s ability to be alone, figure things out, learn safety (i.e., ouch, corners are sharp). Parents.com suggests that this creates a low self-esteem and confidence in children, because they can’t develop proper life skills that come with independance. It may also attribute to entitlement, as life has been made easier by the parent, and becomes an expectation.

6. Survivalist Parenting

6. Survivalist Parenting

While it’s often joke worthy, survivalist parenting an incredibly real style of parenting. Just ask any parent of 3 or more children. The “options” of parenting styles become less and less and you adjust to pure survival mode. Survivalist parenting is essentially doing your best, and “winging it” the rest of the time. You make efforts to your child’s nutrition on the best days, and other days they eat crackers out of the box for dinner because, whatever, they’re still alive.

Survivalist parents would love to have some stronger expectations on themselves or their children. But, let’s be real, sometimes an hour or two of television is a basic survival mode to getting those 5 loads of laundry done while simultaneously making dinner, and helping with homework. You have rules and structure most of the time, but survival parents are also realistic and know when it’s best to let things slide. Your children will know and learn very well how to adapt to changing scenarios, and hopefully (fingers crossed) learn some great life skills along the way.

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Richard Kerry Thompson

Email: rktcarpediem@gmail.com
Twitter: @RKT_HOPE

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