COUNSELING SOLUTIONS

With the hustle and bustle of the holidays behind us, the ‘winter blues’ may be upon us. Sources indicate that anywhere from five to ten percent of the US population–meaning millions of Americans—may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, otherwise known as seasonal depression. The lack of sunlight, inability to be outdoors, reduced physical activity, and even just the bleakness of a winter landscape can send individuals into a spiraling depression. Symptoms include loss of motivation, fatigue, feeling down or depressed, increased agitation, changes in sleep or appetite, or lack of interest in things that you usually find enjoyable. For many, this form of depression is fairly mild and will likely pass with the season. For others, the symptoms can escalate to an episode of severe depression. If you find yourself experiencing low mood related to the winter season, consider speaking to your doctor, as well as a licensed therapist who can help you manage these feelings. For those who are prone to the winter blues, these suggestions may help you find a bit more joy in the season:

1. Have an activities plan. Whether it’s a dinner, a date night, a trip, or a season, life generally goes better with a plan. Most of us find it difficult to come up with ideas on the spot. It’s akin to thinking of an example: You may have ten of them until you’re directly asked to provide one. So set a plan for activities that you can do indoors and that you enjoy. Though there is nothing l love more than spring gardening and walks in the sunshine, winter does provide a unique opportunity to enjoy some quieter activities. Reading, puzzles, baking, game nights, and the like are all enjoyable on a cold winter night. The key is to plan your activities in advance.

2. Speaking of plans, also have a plan for how to engage in your routine once the temperatures fall. It’s easy to stop going to the gym, getting out to see friends, leaving for date nights. Though rooting yourself in your house can be relaxing, it can also become the perfect soil for depression to take root. Create plans that are hard to break, such as purchasing a fitness class, buying non-refundable tickets, or scheduling a night out with a ‘social accountability buddy’ (meaning, you both agree not to break the date).

3. Embrace the Danish concept of “hygge” (pronounced hoo-gah). The idea is the coziness of the season. Hearty soups, soft blankets, flannel sheets, hot cocoa, a warm fire. All of these are inviting, and create warmth and coziness. The long Scandinavian winters require opportunities to enjoy the season, lest the bleakness of winter win out. So invite that coziness into your space.

4. Adjust your expectations. For all the work I have put in to find joy in the dark, cold months of winter, I confess that I simply will never be as happy in winter as I am in other seasons–and that is just fine. We aren’t required to like, or enjoy, all seasons equally. Reminding yourself that you aren’t required to love it, and that it is just a season, takes off some of the pressure–pressure that isn’t actually helping. If you can create opportunities to make winter a reasonably enjoyable time, that’s a win!

5. Find warmth and sunshine. If winter just isn’t your thing, take the opportunity to find some summer weather in the Southern hemisphere. The good news is that travel is generally less expensive after the holidays (and before Spring Breaks start), so look for airline and hotel deals. No reason to force yourself to muddle through endless weeks of winter weather when you can find respite.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you are able to find some joy and comfort in the winter months. It is a lovely time for reflection, quiet, and preparation. I love to take these months to plan my garden and my travels for the year, creating a season of anticipation, rather than longing. And as earlier stated, do talk to your doctor, and consider speaking to a licensed therapist who can partner with you to help you cope with whatever sadness you may be experiencing this season.

Danielle Day, MS, LPC is currently accepting new clients. Learn more about her practice here.

Counseling Solutions has partnered with MSU to provide income-based LOW SLIDING SCALE FEES with counseling interns! Our interns are supervised by the university and by an on-site Licensed Professional Counselor. They work with children, teens, adults, couples, and families, and they have immediate openings. Fill out a short REQUEST FOR SERVICES, and you will be contacted about scheduling an appointment. Feel free to share this resource with anyone who can benefit!

School counselors: did you know that you can earn your LPC in 2 years? Many of the school hours you are already working can count towards the 3,000 hour requirement. In addition, many school districts offer a stipend for becoming an LPC/NCC.

The LPC certification can open doors for many types of job opportunities--including private practice--and Counseling Solutions has helped over 35 counselors gain their LPC. For more information, email Brian Vega at briancvega@me.com.

An Emotional Support Animal (ESA) is a dog, cat, or other pet that provides comfort and support for people with debilitating stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions. Pet owners know that animals can bring companionship, joy, peace, and love into our lives. In short, pets can help us feel better in very therapeutic ways. Therefore, people suffering from these emotional/psychological disabilities have a legal right to live in any house or apartment (even where pets are normally prohibited) without having to pay pet deposits.

Want to know if you qualify for an ESA? Check out the facts here! And feel free to email questions to briancvega@me.com.

In The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples (Northrup, Schwartz, and Witte), the authors and researchers looked at data from tens of thousands of people around the world to find what happy, sexually satisfied couples tend to do differently from those who aren't as satisfied. They discovered the list of habits below that correlate strongly with a good sex life over the years:

1. They say "I love you" every day and mean it--expressing affection consistently.

2. They kiss one another passionately for no reason--keeping the physical spark and affection alive.

3. They give surprise romantic gifts--small gestures that show thoughtfulness.

4. They know what turns their partners on and off erotically--understanding each other's sexual preferences and boundaries.

5. They are physically affectionate, even in public--maintaining closeness beyond the bedroom.

6. They keep playing and having fun together--not letting routine extinguish joy.

7. They cuddle--nurturing intimacy and connection.

8. They make sex a priority, not the last item on a long to-do list--treating sexual connection as important.

9. They stay good friends--a strong friendship lays the foundation for lasting intimacy.

10. They can talk comfortably about their sex life--open communication about desires and concerns.

11. They have weekly dates--scheduled time together helps maintain connection.

12. They take romantic vacations--changing context can refresh relationships.

13. They are mindful about "turning toward" each other--making conscious choices to connect emotionally and physically.

These behaviors aren't just about sex itself--they're about emotional closeness, friendship, affection, and prioritizing the relationship. According to the research, it's this combination of emotional and physical connection that predicts long-term sexual satisfaction.

Have questions about couples counseling? Contact Brian Vega, LPC, NCC here.

Anger is an emotion that gets in the way of our relationships, can leave us feeing isolated, and can generate shame. Our culture doesn't focus on it until it's a problem, so many adults never learned how to manage anger in a healthy way. Counseling Solutions offers an anger management class that is convenient and affordable, and it can help!

The Anger Management 101 course focuses on understanding:

• the brain-based biology behind anger
• thoughts and awareness
• feelings, triggers, and reactions
• communication and conflict styles
• domestic violence and shame
• conflict in relationships
• 20+ healthy coping mechanisms

Our class is VIRTUAL, LIVE, and takes place in the evening. Learn more about it here.

Brian Vega, MS, LPC, NCC, started Counseling Solutions in 2005. Since then, it has grown to partner with over 35 providers and to include: individual, couples, family, adolescent, play, group, EMDR, brainspotting, virtual, and sex therapy; ESA letters, anger management classes, and supervision for PLPCs and counseling interns. Find out more about all of our services here.

Email: briancvega@me.com
Website: www.counselingsolutionsoftheozarks.com
Location: 1531 East Sunshine Street, Springfield, MO, USA
Phone: 417-887-9950