Build Trusting Relationships

At the core of every neuroaffirming classroom is trust. Long before visuals, routines, or structured supports can work their magic, students need to feel that they’re safe with you, and that who they are is seen, heard, and accepted.

For many autistic students, trust in school settings hasn’t always come easily. Some have learned that adults might not understand their communication, that their needs may be overlooked, or that behavior could be met with frustration instead of curiosity. Our job, then, is not just to teach, but to help rewrite that story.

When students trust us, they begin to take emotional risks: trying something new, using communication in a new way, or staying in a space that once felt overwhelming. Trust is the bridge that turns safety into connection and connection into learning.

Trusting relationships need to start with connection, not compliance. When we approach learning, communication, and regulation through the lens of relationship first, we send the message: “You matter more than the task.”

Building connection doesn’t require grand gestures; rather it grows in small, intentional moments such as:

• Warmly greeting each student as they come into the classroom.

• Pausing to notice how they enter the room and matching their energy or giving space as needed.

• Sitting beside a student rather than always across from them.

• Showing curiosity toward their passions.

• Checking in often.

• Offering choices instead of directives whenever possible.

Each of these micro-moments builds a foundation of safety and predictability. Over time, those moments add up and students learn that they can trust you to listen, to wait, and to meet them where they are.

Trust deepens when we show students that what matters to them, matters to us. Every student has a passion, such as dinosaurs, trains, Minecraft, weather patterns, or drawing. These interests are paths to connection. Instead of seeing them as distractions, we can see them as bridges.

Ask questions, engage in conversation, and incorporate those interests into lessons when possible.

“Tell me about your new drawing!”
“Which Pokémon is your favorite?”
“Can you show me how that game works?”

I once worked with a student who loved drawing animated characters. We framed and hung his artwork in our classroom café area and his face lit up every time he saw it. It wasn’t just art on the wall; it was proof that his identity and voice belonged in our space. When we honor passions, we tell students: “I see you. You belong here just as you are.”

Trust isn’t built by perfection, it’s built by consistency and repair. Consistency gives students something to count on: routines, tone of voice, and clear expectations. When something changes, communicating that early and calmly reinforces that they can depend on you to prepare them for what’s ahead. And when we make mistakes (and we all do!) repairing them models the very emotional safety we hope to foster. Such as saying , “I’m sorry I didn't look at your drawing. I was feeling overwhelmed, but I care about you and I want to see it,” can be transformative. It teaches that relationships can withstand mistakes, we just need to put in the work to repair them.

When trust is the goal, behavior looks different. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” we ask, “What is this behavior trying to tell me?”

We know that behavior is communication. It's an attempt to express a need, emotion, or sensory experience. Responding with curiosity rather than correction deepens connection and shows students they are safe, even when they struggle. A simple shift from “What’s wrong with this behavior?” to “What need is this behavior communicating?” reframes how we see and respond to behavior.

When students learn that their emotions and communication (in any form) are safe with you, they begin to regulate, not because they were told to, but because they trust they are understood.

Building trust takes time, consistency, and patience but it changes everything.When students feel safe and understood, learning flows. When they know their voice matters, communication flows. And when they trust their environment and the adults in it, they begin to believe in their own capability.

Next week, we'll look at taking a strengths-based approach when creating opportunities for our students.

Are you interested in learning more about neurodiversity, including best practices? Below is a great start!

Books

Uniquely Human by Dr. Barry Prizant

Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Podcasts

Uniquely Human: The Podcast

Expands the conversation on autism and neurodiversity by amplifying the voices of autistic and neurodivergent individuals and thought leaders, providing insightful, cutting-edge, and practical information about the autistic and neurodivergent experience. Hosted by Barry Prizant and Dave Finch.

Neurodiversity Podcast

The Neurodiversity Podcast talks with leaders in the fields of psychology, education, and beyond, about positively impacting neurodivergent people. Their goal is to reframe differences that were once considered disabilities or disorders, promote awareness of this unique population, and improve the lives of neurodivergent and high-ability people.

Social Media Accounts

Louise Chandler

Autistic Writer, Speaker, and Creator | Lived experience and self advocacy

@neurodivergent_lou

Andi Putt

Autistic Speech Language Pathologist | Strategies for neuroaffirming practices and communication

@mrsspeechiep

Nikki Smit

Neurodivergent OT | Amazing insight into self-regulation and co-regulation

@nikkismittherapy

This must-read newsletter is filled with exciting events, valuable opportunities, and expert insights for educators and professionals supporting students with ASD.

Don’t miss out! Click the link below to access this incredible resource, and be sure to subscribe to receive the Minnesota Statewide ASD Newsletter in your inbox each quarter. Stay informed, inspired, and connected!

Check out the Making Music Together Themes First! Unit, which includes original songs, books, and activities that support students’ skill development and generalization with content that’s fun, accessible, and theme-based. These monthly units now include an expanded Social Studies suite, containing fun, theme-related activities that reinforce cultural engagement. Included in all Themes First! units are lessons, activities, and worksheets for group and independent work at a wide range of levels.

The next Themes First! release, December's Planes Trains and Autos is ready to prep!

💡Print all the activities you plan to use for the upcoming month as soon as they become available. Put printed activities in a "prep" area equipped with a laminator, file folders, Velcro, labels, and baggies. If you have a large laminator, laminate all the activities at once! When you and your team have a few minutes to spare, laminate, cut, and Velcro. It helps to organize activities in trays by "Needs to be Prepped" and "Finished." Don't forget to teach your team how to prep the activities and to model this new expectation. Check out the How to Prep a Month-Long Themes First! Unit below.

Current Series: Building Neuroaffirming Classrooms

What is Neurodiversity?

"Hearing Autistic Voices"

Teaching Through Lived Experience

It Starts with Us: Shifting Mindsets

Honor All Communication

STAR Media Center Updates: Themes First

STAR Media Center Updates: Routine Essentials

Welcome Back! 9/2/2025

2023-2025 Tuesday Tips & Tricks

Feel free to reach out anytime with questions or concerns—I’m happy to help! You can contact me by email or phone, and I’m also available for quick Zoom chats on Fridays from 7:30–8:00 AM and 3:00–3:30 PM. If those times don’t work for your schedule, just send me an email, and we’ll find a time that works best for both of us.

Use the link below to ask questions about this week's Tuesday Tips 'N' Tricks and/or give suggestions on future topics.