Spotlight on Safeguarding

Recently, alarming reports have emerged about dangerous online networks sometimes called “com groups” or “com networks.” These are loosely organised online communities - often on social media, messaging apps or gaming platforms, where cybercriminals and abusers target children and teenagers.

While each group can be different, many share disturbing and coercive behaviour: encouraging or demanding self-harm, blackmail (including via intimate or personal data) and normalising violence, abuse or even suicidal behaviour. Some groups reportedly use intimidation, threats or manipulation to control vulnerable youngsters.

These groups are not hidden on the fringes - they can exist on platforms used daily, such as Telegram, Discord and others. That means any child could be at risk, which makes awareness and vigilance essential.

Why some children become targets

According to experts on self-harm and online harm:

• Young people coping with emotional distress - such as anxiety, low self-esteem, isolation, bullying or mental health struggles may be more vulnerable.
• Some may be seeking connection or acceptance - and abusers exploit this, offering reassurance or belonging in return for compliance or secrecy.
• Perpetrators often use coercion or blackmail, luring children into trust or secrecy, then manipulating them into harmful acts or threatening to expose sensitive information.

Signs that a child might be involved

• Unexplained mood changes: sudden depression, irritability, anxiety or withdrawal from family and friends.
• Physical signs of self-harm: unexplained cuts, bruises, burns or other marks; covering up arms or legs even when it’s warm; reluctance to join in activities like swimming or wearing certain clothes.
• Behavioural or digital-use changes: secretive online activity, reluctance to share who they’re talking to or spend a lot of time online; avoiding questions about friends or online contacts; seeming nervous or guilty when messaging or on their phone.
• Signs of distress or shame after online use: references to ‘group challenges’ or ‘private communities’ they feel they can’t talk about.
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What parents and carers can do - Practical tips for protection and support

• Talk openly and often: Create a safe space for conversation. Let your child know they can talk to you about anything, including what might be going on in their online world.
• Check in on online activity: Show interest in your child's apps and platforms. Encourage transparency by asking about their communication and any feelings of pressure to keep secrets.
• Educate - but without fear: Help them understand that not all online spaces are safe; that it’s okay to say no, to block or report someone or to talk to you if something feels wrong.
• Be alert to signs and offer support: If you suspect something’s wrong offer help, listen without judgement and suggest professional support if needed.
• Model healthy online habits: Demonstrate balanced screen use, respectful interaction and openness. Show that online safety and personal well-being matter.
• Make it a family conversation: Include online safety and mental well-being in everyday talks - not just as a one-time ‘warning’, but as part of normal family life.

These online networks can sound frightening - but knowledge, awareness and open communication create a powerful first line of defence. By staying connected with your child, being alert for warning signs and building trust and support, you can help protect them from harm.

Consent is often talked about only in the context of sexual relationships, but for teenagers, the concept is much bigger and far more everyday. At its core, consent is about respect, boundaries, communication and personal autonomy. Helping young people understand consent holistically gives them the tools to build healthy friendships, avoid peer pressure and navigate online and offline relationships with confidence.

What consent really means

Consent is an agreement - freely given, informed and reversible - between people. It applies in many situations teens face daily:

• Borrowing someone’s belongings
• Sharing photos or personal information
• Hugging or physical affection
• Joining group chats
• Making plans that involve others
• Even teasing, joking or play-fighting

When young people understand that consent isn’t a one-time conversation but a continual practice, they learn to respect their own boundaries and those of others.

Why young people need this skill

As young people grow more independent, their social world expands - both online and offline. They encounter situations where peer pressure, miscommunication or digital behaviour can challenge boundaries. Teaching consent early helps them:

• Feel confident saying no without guilt
• Understand that they can change their mind at any time
• Recognise when someone else is uncomfortable
• Build friendships based on respect, not pressure
• Navigate online sharing safely and thoughtfully

How parents and carers can teach everyday consent

1. Model consent at home

• Ask before giving a hug
• Check before sharing their photo with family
• Respect when they say “not right now”
  Small behaviours send a big message.

2. Emphasise that consent works both ways

Young people should feel empowered to assert their own limits and responsible for respecting others’.

3. Use real-life scenarios

Bring consent into everyday conversations:

• “If a friend doesn’t want to be in a group chat, what should you do?”
• “If someone asks for a picture, what’s a respectful way to respond?”

4. Highlight online consent

Encourage them to always ask before:

• Adding someone to a group
• Sharing screenshots
• Forwarding voice notes or messages
• Posting or tagging photos

5. Reinforce that pressure is not consent

Help them understand that:

• Silence isn’t consent
• “I guess so” isn’t consent
• Feeling forced, guilty or intimidated means consent is not valid

Twickenham School

Percy Road

Twickenham

TW2 6JW

0208 894 4503