Building Regulation Skills: Step 3

Last week in Tuesday Tips & Tricks, we focused on helping students choose a regulation strategy and teaching them how to use it. But our instruction can’t stop there. Practicing a strategy when a student feels safe and connected is one thing. Using it when their body starts to feel overwhelmed is much harder.

This is where we step in. Students need support to use these strategies in real moments, not just during practice. Through co-regulation, we guide them, model for them, and support them as they begin to use these tools when they actually need them.

It’s important to remember that self-regulation develops over time. Students are not expected to do this independently yet. They need us to walk alongside them as they build these skills.

Knowing a strategy and using it during a hard moment are two very different skills. This is where co-regulation comes in. We step in to support the student’s nervous system so they can begin to use a strategy when it actually matters. In the previous steps, we taught students to notice their body signals and choose a strategy that might help. Now, we are helping them do both of those things in real time.

Co-regulation starts with us. Our tone, body language, and presence help signal safety. When a student begins to feel overwhelmed, we stay calm, keep our language simple, and reduce demands. Then we guide them through the process:

First, we help them notice what their body is doing.

“Your hands are tight."

“Let’s take a breath together.” or “Let’s go to the quiet space.”

At first, students need a lot of support. We are modeling the process, guiding them through it, and sometimes doing it alongside them. Over time, this support can fade as students begin to recognize what they need and use strategies more independently.

The goal is not for students to do this alone right away. The goal is to support them through the full process in the moment, so they can build the skills to do it more independently over time.

Tip #1: Keep your language simple. When a student is overwhelmed, they cannot process a lot of words. Short, clear phrases paired with visuals work best.
“Let’s take a breath.”
“Let’s go to the quiet space.”

Tip #2: Do it with them. Model the strategy alongside the student. Co-regulation is about doing, not just telling. Sit with them, breathe with them, walk with them.

Tip #3: Reduce demands first. If a student’s body does not feel safe, adding demands can escalate things. Focus on regulation first, then return to the task.

Tip #4: Use the same few strategies consistently. Familiar strategies are easier to access in stressful moments. Repetition builds confidence and independence.

Waiting too long. It is much harder to support regulation once a student is fully escalated. Look for early body signals and step in sooner.

Talking too much. When we feel urgency, we often over-explain. This can overwhelm the student even more.

Expecting independence too soon. Students need repeated, supported practice before they can use strategies on their own.

Focusing only on behavior. Instead of correcting behavior, focus on what the body might need. Behavior is often a signal, not the problem.

Pick one regulation strategy (like deep breathing or a break) and focus on using it with a student when you notice an early body signal. Keep your language simple and model the strategy alongside them.

As a reminder, the goal is not independence yet. It’s helping the student experience what it feels like to move back to a place of balance with your support.

I am not an occupational therapist. The information shared in this newsletter is intended for educational purposes and to support reflection on classroom practices through a neuroaffirming lens. Regulation and sensory needs are highly individual, and specific strategies may not be appropriate for every student. Teachers are encouraged to collaborate with and consult their school-based occupational therapist or related service providers before implementing individualized or intensive sensory strategies.

Take instruction to the next level! Discover how to identify learning goals, match evidence-based practices, and tailor lessons that meet every student’s unique needs.

📅 April 6th, 2026 | 3:30 - 4:30 PM PM CST

In 2026, the Autism Society of Minnesota is making a thoughtful shift to a virtual, two–half-day format. This change helps us respond to rising event costs and budget challenges from 2025 while lowering the overall cost to our community. Going virtual allows us to keep this conference accessible to more people — no travel, no hotel costs, less time away from work or caregiving, and more flexibility for how and when you participate.

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Check out the Reading Superpowers Themes First! Unit, which includes original songs, books, and activities that support students’ skill development and generalization with content that’s fun, accessible, and theme-based. These monthly units now include an expanded Social Studies suite, containing fun, theme-related activities that reinforce cultural engagement. Included in all Themes First! units are lessons, activities, and worksheets for group and independent work at a wide range of levels.

The next Themes First! release, April's Spring Animals is ready to prep!

💡Print all the activities you plan to use for the upcoming month as soon as they become available. Put printed activities in a "prep" area equipped with a laminator, file folders, Velcro, labels, and baggies. If you have a large laminator, laminate all the activities at once! When you or your team have a few minutes to spare, you can laminate, cut, and add Velcro as needed. It helps to organize activities in trays by "Needs to be Prepped" and "Finished." Don't forget to teach your team how to prep the activities and to model this new expectation. Check out the How to Prep a Month-Long Themes First! Unit below.

Building Neuroaffirming Classrooms Series

What is Neurodiversity?

"Hearing Autistic Voices"

Teaching Through Lived Experience

It Starts with Us: Shifting Mindsets

Honor All Communication

Build Trusting Relationships

Take a Strengths-Based Approach

Challenge Assumptions

Moving Forward

STAR Media Center Updates: Themes First

STAR Media Center Updates: Routine Essentials

Welcome Back! 9/2/2025

2023-2025 Tuesday Tips & Tricks

Feel free to reach out anytime with questions or concerns—I’m happy to help! You can contact me by email or phone, and I’m also available for quick Zoom chats on Fridays from 7:30–8:00 AM and 3:00–3:30 PM. If those times don’t work for your schedule, just send me an email, and we’ll find a time that works best for both of us.

Use the link below to ask questions about this week's Tuesday Tips 'N' Tricks and/or give suggestions on future topics.