Regulation Newsletter

Welcome to Volume 3 of the Emotional Regulation Smore series. To review, we have covered an overview of regulation and regulation for us as adults. In this issue, we will dive into the meat and potatoes - co-regulation (or in other words, regulation for our students). The Regulation Padlet is linked within this Smore (just like the other two) for easy access. Please keep checking back in as I am always adding to it. Questions? Please reach out!

Tips and Techniques When Regulating Our Students

Co-regulation is a mutual act, an exchange of calm that occurs between two people. But when it comes to adults (who have acquired the cognitive tools to manage their emotions) and children, co-regulation also means helping a child learn how to regulate their own emotions by showing empathy and modeling calmness. Co-regulation does not mean pretending to exist in a state of calm all the time or never getting angry. It means actively managing your own emotions to help kids learn to manage theirs.

Co-regulation involves:

• Attending to a child's cues
• Demonstrating responsiveness to their changing needs
• Providing more or less support as needed based on the situation and the child's cues
• It includes our facial expressions, tone of voice, physical touch, and timely responsiveness to the child's needs (as the adults in the situation)

Children's individual differences will dictate their co-regulation needs. This includes:

• Temperament
• Personality
• Sensory processing needs
• Neurodivergence
• Exposure to trauma
• Developmental delays
• Other aspects of the individual

Research has shown that children demonstrate the most rapid gains in self-regulation between the ages of 3-7, with the most critical period being during preschool years. For those working with our young population, be mindful of the potential you have to equip our youth with life long tools for regulation.

How can we prioritize connection and relationships when dealing with a dysregulated child?

• Our first instinct is to address the behavior and assign consequences.
• Let's reframe this.
• Get curious about the behavior.
• Ask, "What are they trying to communicate? What are they trying to have met?"
• Connect with them on an emotional level
• Deposit into their body budget (give a hug, check in, telling them you are there for them)
• Later (when regulated) ask: "What skills need to be taught?"
• Why are we doing this? Our goal is to build trust and relational safety (when we are connected to a person, we feel like we can have hard times and they will support and care for us without judgement)

A student becomes dysregulated and they hit you.

• Check in with yourself (because we can be triggered).
• Use self-regulation strategies for yourself, if needed.
• Prioritize connection.
• Ask, "What are they trying to communicate?"
• If they hit, we aren't prioritizing the hitting. This is the best skill they have at that moment to express this emotion (although maladaptive), but we need to understand that this child is upset and dysregulated, so we need to help them diffuse. We can't match their energy or things will escalate.
• Try, "I can see something is bothering you" (as opposed to assigning feelings).
• Acknowledge and validate their feelings.
• Prompt them to practice a calming strategy that you taught previously during a calm time.
• They may need some space or time to calm down.
• "I am here if and when you need me."
• Help problem solve (but don't fix it for them).
• Set a boundary if needed. "I get it. I don't like it when people take things, but we cannot hit."
• Get feedback.
• What worked for them? What can we change?

• Emotional literacy: the ability to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in oneself and others in a healthy way
• Teaching, practicing, and prompting for coping strategies such as breathing exercises, mindfulness, movement
• Reading books/social stories
• Retell stories about challenging situations
• Pretend play
• See the Regulation Padlet linked below for a plethora of ideas!

Learning how to utilize breathing as a coping strategy is simple and effective! Breathing has a major impact on your body's physiology.

When you are calm and relaxed, your body is in “rest and digest” mode. You breathe normally, your heart rate is lower and your muscles are relaxed. However, when stress or anxiety or anger occurs, your body automatically switches into “flight, fight or freeze” mode. Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes more shallow. Taking deep breaths, instead of shallow breaths, is one way to tell your body to get back to resting and digesting. That’s why deep breathing is important!

Remember, proper breathing is in through the nose, out through the mouth. (This brings in the most oxygen, and expels the most waste gases.)

Mindfulness

Guided imagery

5-4-3-2-1 grounding skill

Distraction Strategies

Small Body Movements

• Fidgets

Big Body Movements

• Taking a walk
• Passing out papers
• Walking on sensory steppers

Self-regulation and sensory processing are extremely intertwined because a child's ability to self-regulate can depend largely on the way the respond to the sensory input in their surroundings. Whether an individual has identified sensory needs or not, we all have our own unique sensory preferences and aversions.

At NeuroLogic® we say that fidgets are “tools, not toys.” But why is this true? Let’s explore some of the brain science behind how fidgets can regulate our nervous systems, and why they often help students focus. Click the attachment below to read more!

Looking for some resources to use for regulation? Look no further! I am always adding to this Padlet, so check back in from time to time to see what's new!