The Behavior Helper

The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) is a leader in Social Emotional Learning. They define SEL as "the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions". In other words, it's how children develop skills necessary for success in school, work, and in life.

This short video will give a brief overview of what it is and why these skills are necessary for success! 👇

The scene: Hank is playing on a bike during recess time. Joe approaches him and grabs the handlebars of the bike saying, "I want it". Hank refuses to get off the bike and Joe gets increasingly upset as the tugging back and forth continues.

Teaching Response: The teacher approaches Hank and Joe and asks what is wrong. Joe says that he wants a turn on the bike, and Hank won't give it to him. "Oh, I see," the teacher says. "It sounds like you are frustrated with Hank because he is on the bike and you want a turn. Is that right?" When Joe agrees, the teacher reminds the students that they are friends and take turns sharing their toys. She says, "Now Joe, I need you to use your words to tell Hank that you'd like a turn when he's done riding the bike. Until then, let's time Hank on the bike to see how long it takes him to ride around the playground." The teacher helps Joe use his words to communicate to his friend that he wants a turn on the bike. Joe goes with the teacher and helps push the button on the stopwatch to time Hank as he rides the bike. The teacher encourages the students to cheer for their friend. When Hank returns to the "start", Joe then gets his turn on the bike.

*Through this scenario, both students were learning how to use their words to communicate their needs. Once that was completed, an alternate activity was provided to provide Joe with an active part in Hank riding the bike.

Reprimanding Response: The teacher yells, "Hank and Joe, get away from the bike! We are not arguing today!" The behavior escalates and the boys topple over onto the ground with the bike on top of them. Both students are required to lose time on the bike and sit along the wall for the remainder of recess.

*With this example, the students could have been injured when they fell. Without the teaching, guidance, modeling of communication, neither student is any more effective communicating their needs. It is likely that this incident will occur again in the future.

Can you see how this situation was easily diffused? We can choose to have a different outcome from our students by changing our reaction to them and helping facilitate those skills that are not yet developed.

From the surface we may see the fierce, aggressive behaviors children display whereas underneath they are actually a frightened, timid goldfish trying to get their needs met in any way they know how.

This is a way to quickly engage students in a discussion while providing a choice of what to respond to.

Checking in with children in the morning can help us know how to be proactive in our approach to meeting their needs. If we know a child is entering school at a 1 (silly frog), we may need to provide some calming activities to get them ready to learn, whereas if they enter at a 5 (upset frog) we may need to spend time with them to help them process and get them ready for the day.

This grounding activity is a great way to get students to focus on their senses and prepare their brains and bodies for learning.

Our brains believe what our mouths speak! Teaching children positive affirmations helps them to believe all the good in themselves.