Grace & Courtesy

Helping Children Learn Self-Discipline

“Considering the method as a whole, we must begin our work by preparing the child for the forms of social life, and we must attract his attention to these forms” - Maria Montessori

How to give a Grace & Courtesy Lesson

Grace and courtesy lessons are given as a group as a role-play. Each lesson isolates the positive behavior the teacher wishes to model.

specific behavior is identified and defined
preview of what will happen
observe a role play of the lesson
debrief about what the children saw and observed
guided role play, allows the children to repeat the lesson

Here is a sample list of grace and courtesy lessons we use in our classrooms to establish a culture of confidence, independence, and peace.

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Classroom Management

How to listen to directions
How to get the teacher’s attention

Place hand on teacher’s shoulder
Wait for acknowledgement

How to raise hand at circle time and wait to be called on
How to wait to speak after others finish
How to shake hands with teacher/adult
How to ask/offer, refuse/wait for help from a teacher or another student
How to greet a visitor: “Hello, my name is…. Welcome to (our home or name of school).”
How to listen to a story or poem without shouting out questions in the middle of the story
How to learn a song at circle time
How to sing with a group
How to recycle paper
Speaking in a low voice

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Social Interactions between Adults & Children

Greeting a Person
Saying Thank You
Expressing Admiration
Making an apology

How to admit a mistake and ask to be forgiven
How to say, “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.

How to give comfort to another

Asking, “Are you all right? May I help you?”
Getting a teacher

How to introduce friends: “Mary, this is my friend, Maria.”
Asking to watch another’s lesson
Asking to join in play
Asking for a turn
Asking an older child for help
Asking to join a group lesson
Requesting privacy
Inviting another child to play
How to refuse an invitation kindly
Excusing oneself
Introducing myself to another: “Hello (or “Hi”). My name is….”
How to say “no” politely

“No, thank you. I don’t want to do that.”
How to say, “Stop! Stop! You’re hurting me. Stop. I don’t like that!”

How to ask someone to move: “Could you please move? I would like to sit here.”
“Excuse me, please. I want to walk through here.”

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Care of the Garden (& Environment)

Watering the plants
Pulling weeds
Setting up a plant area
Sweeping walkways
Harvesting

Ways to Cultivate Grace & Courtesy

Remember, do not assume the children know something, but teach everything, giving the child the opportunity to do things correctly, as they generally want to do.

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Table Manners

Chewing with your mouth closed
“To pass a jug of milk or shaker”
Passing an appetizer or dish of food
Saying “Thank you”
Using a napkin or serviette
Sharing
Offering a drink to a guest
Avoiding putting elbows on the table
Placement of utensils on the plate when finished meal
Asking permission to leave the table.
Saying excuse me when passing food in front of another.
Avoiding talking with your mouth open
Waiting for your turn in a buffet situation
Using utensils instead of fingers

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Language for Respect & Kindness

- May I have a turn
- Are you Okay? How can I help?
- Nice to meet you
- Bless you!
- Good morning
- Excuse me/ asking for help
- May I join in, please?
- How are you feeling
- To hold the door open for someone
- Come in, Please
- Receiving a gift
- Writing a thank you note
- Being gentle with one and other
- Giving up your seat to an elderly person

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Social Situations

Blowing your nose
Removing your hat
Standing in a line
Waving goodbye
Going to a library, museum, restaurant
Speaking in a soft voice, when appropriate.
Putting others first
answering a question
How to cough in public
Winking and thumbs up at someone (reading social cues)
What is appropriate behavior in public
Good sportsmanship

Please take whatever suggestions may be valuable for your family and create your own list that supports your values.

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Grace & Courtesy is a general attitude of graciousness and respect. We can only create it when first we model it with our own actions, and then with good-natured lessons, we demonstrate the way we do things in our class, or in our home.

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