by Ryan Conn
1. Do not pressure your child into a specific field.
There is a very good chance that you believe your child should do something to make a lot of money, or follow in your footsteps. This may not be what your child wants though. Nagging them constantly will only yield resentment, their career is their choice, even if they’re young and naive.
2. Get ideas of an Ivy League school out of your expectations
Unless your kid is one of a select few geniuses in the United States or you have more money than you could ever need, it’s unlikely that they will get into an Ivy League school. I’m not saying they can’t, however, lower your expectations.
3. Let us come to you with questions, don’t bombard us.
Sometimes thinking about college is overwhelming and can stress us out. Don’t remind us every day and don’t psych us out with scary facts and deadlines, if you have questions save them for the right time.
4. Ask and guide: don’t tell.
If you tell your kid to do something they don’t want to do, it’s likely not going to be done or completed with low interest. Asking and guiding will steer us on a better path.
5. Educate us on finances. We don’t know everything
Money is an important part of life, especially college. We don’t know everything and that’s where we need you the most. Educating us on finances for college is so important to the process and without our parents we wouldn’t get far.
6. Understand the application process has changed.
Back in your time, it was all about test scores and grades. Now it’s all about portfolios, race, and other factors. We’re learning about them and if you’re interested, talk to us.
7. Your worries about college are likely different than mine.
Some of us worry about the curriculum and dorms, while others only care about the size of the campus. Either way, everyone has a different preference so understand that we might disagree on a few things.
8. Listen to us talk about college and engage, even if you’re uninterested. If you don’t engage with your kid when they’re talking about college, they’ll take it as you aren’t interested in their life, and that may push them to drop out, or make reckless decisions. It’s important to stay involved in your child’s life, even into adulthood.
9. Encourage open discussions
Open discussions create the best environment possible for communicating with your child. Shutting down their every thought won’t help them make a decision on where to go.
10. Just hang out with us with no strings attached.
We may just need to talk about things other than college during the process to clear our heads and avoid stressing. Hanging out with your kid is crucial to having a healthy relationship with them.
