The Connection Corner
Your "Whole Child Hub"
Navigating Social Groups at School: Supporting Your Child Through Changing Friendships
Friendships during the school years can be fluid, with social groups often shifting as children grow and develop. While these changes are a natural part of life, they can feel overwhelming for children—and their parents. Here are research-based strategies to help your child navigate changing friendships and peer challenges with confidence and resilience:
1. Validate Their Feelings
- Why it matters: According to child development expert Dr. John Gottman, acknowledging and validating a child’s emotions helps them feel understood and supported, which is critical in moments of social distress.
- What you can do: Listen attentively without immediately trying to "fix" the problem. For example, you can say, “I see that you’re upset. Losing a friend or feeling left out can really hurt.”
2. Help Them Understand Social Dynamics
- Why it matters: Studies by Dr. Michael Thompson, author of Best Friends, Worst Enemies, show that children need guidance to understand the evolving nature of friendships and group dynamics.
- What you can do: Explain that it’s normal for friendships to shift as interests change. Help them identify qualities of a good friend and encourage relationships based on shared values, kindness, and mutual respect.
3. Support Social Skill Development
- Why it matters: Strong social skills can prevent misunderstandings and improve peer interactions, according to the American Psychological Association.
- What you can do: Teach and model skills like active listening, taking turns, and showing empathy. Praise them when you see these behaviors in action, e.g., “I noticed how you listened to your friend’s idea—great job!”
Additional Resources:
Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children by Michael Thompson, Ph.D.
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World by Michele Borba, Ed.D.
Embracing Emotional Diversity: Not Every Child Expresses Feelings the Same Way
Every child experiences emotions differently, and the way they express those emotions can vary widely. While one child might openly share their feelings, another may become quiet, withdraw, or act out in frustration.
Here are some practical strategies to help you embrace your child’s unique emotional expression:
1. Learn Your Child’s Emotional Language
- Observe Patterns in Behavior: Pay attention to how your child reacts to different situations. For example, do they retreat to their room when upset or become physically restless? Recognizing these patterns can help you understand their emotional needs.
- Use Tools to Label Emotions: Introduce emotion wheels, charts, or the “Zones of Regulation” to help your child identify and articulate their feelings. Say, “Do you think you’re feeling frustrated, sad, or something else?”
2. Model Emotional Expression
- Narrate Your Feelings Out Loud: Use everyday situations to verbalize your emotions. For instance, say, “I feel a little anxious about tomorrow’s meeting, so I’m making a list to help me prepare.” This demonstrates how to acknowledge and address emotions constructively.
- Demonstrate Calm Problem-Solving: If you get frustrated, model how to handle it by saying, “I’m feeling really annoyed right now. I’m going to take a few deep breaths before I respond.”
3. Provide Outlets for Nonverbal Expression
- Encourage Creative Expression: Offer your child tools like markers, journals, or clay to express how they’re feeling through art or writing. For example, ask, “Can you draw what your day felt like?”
- Incorporate Movement: Suggest physical activities like dancing, yoga, or even a walk to help your child release built-up emotions. Sometimes, movement can help children process feelings they can’t put into words.
Teaching Respectful Communication
According to research from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, respectful communication not only strengthens family relationships but also helps children build social-emotional skills, such as empathy and self-regulation. When children feel heard and respected, they are more likely to reciprocate those behaviors in their interactions with others.
By modeling respectful communication, setting clear expectations, and practicing together, you equip your child with the tools they need to navigate relationships with confidence and kindness.
Model Respectful Behavior
Children learn by watching you.
- Speak Calmly: Use a steady tone, even when frustrated, to show how to handle emotions respectfully.
- Listen Actively: Make eye contact and summarize what your child says, like, “I hear that you’re upset because you wanted more time to play.”
2. Set Clear Expectations
Teach your child what respectful communication looks like.
- Encourage Politeness: Remind them to use “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.”
- Use “I” Statements: Help them say, “I feel upset when…” instead of blaming others.
3. Practice Together
Role-play situations to help your child practice being respectful.
- Try Scenarios: Practice saying, “Can I have a turn when you’re done?” instead of grabbing a toy.
- Solve Problems as a Team: Ask, “How can we fix this together?” to encourage compromise.
4. Reinforce Positive Behavior
Praise respectful actions when you see them.
- Point Out Successes: Say, “I noticed how kindly you told your friend how you felt. Great job!”
- Reward Effort: Acknowledge their progress with a hug or extra playtime.
5. Create a Respectful Family Culture
Make kindness a family habit.
- Hold Family Meetings: Let everyone share thoughts without interruptions.
- Apologize When Needed: Show that even adults make mistakes and own up to them.
"LIKE" Social Media Awareness Student Program
6th grade students from both Middle School North and South recently participated in a film screening of LIKE, a documentary designed to raise awareness about the impact of social media and technology on mental health and well-being. The film explores the challenges students face in finding a healthy balance between their online and offline lives, emphasizing the importance of self-regulation, mindfulness, and the potential consequences of excessive screen time. Following the screening, students engaged in a discussion to reflect on the film's message and consider strategies for using technology in a way that supports their overall wellness.
PBIS Winter Booster Sessions
ReferralGPS: Connecting Families to Mental Health Resources
- Searchable Database: Offers a database of treatment options for easy access.
- Care Navigation: Provides services to support families in triage, appointment scheduling, and follow-up care.
- Inclusive Insurance Coverage: The service is compatible with all types of private and public insurance, including PPO, HMO, Medicaid, and it caters to uninsured or underinsured families.
- No-Cost Access: Available free of charge for use by district students, staff, and families.
- Confidentiality Assured: Rest assured that all information entered into the ReferralGPS tool is kept completely confidential and securely stored.
Social Workers
Our students benefit from access to school social work services. Our social workers provide ongoing support in several ways. They collaborate regularly with grade-level teams to promote a positive school climate for all students, and help support staff in using instructional practices that support social-emotional learning across all subjects. Our social workers may also lead class lessons or work in small groups with students to provide more targeted support.
District Social Workers:
Meghan Frazier - Lincoln School - frazierm@hawthorn73.org
Rhonda Malina - Hawthorn School for Young Learners - malinar@hawthorn73.org
Shelby Behrens - Elementary North/Aspen - behrenss@hawthorn73.org
Anna Bach - Aspen -bacha@hawthorn73.org
Ashley Zarinana - Dual Language - zarinanaa@hawthorn73.org
Lana Carnazzola - Townline - carnazzolal@hawthorn73.org
Kathleen Falotico - Townline - faloticok@hawthorn73.org
Paul Mazzetta - Elementary North - mazzettap@hawthorn73.org
Connie Travis - Elementary North - travisc@hawthorn73.org
Nesrin Unlu - Elementary South - unlun@hawthorn73.org
Brittany Langton - Elementary South - langtonb@hawthorn73.org
Lauren Brownstein - Middle School South - brownsteinl@hawthorn73.org
Amunn Jaffery - Middle School South - jafferya@hawthorn73.org
Jaime Medbery - Middle School South - medberyj@hawthorn73.org
Brian Van - Middle School North - vanb@hawthorn73.org
Kelli Cordes - Middle School North - cordesk@hawthorn73.org
Scarlett Davalos - Middle School North - davaloss@hawthorn73.org
Connect with ME!
Megan Goldman
Social, Emotional, Behavioral Coordinator
847-990-4269
Follow me on X (formerly known as Twitter) @D73SOARS
Check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj-L3MVWzHT7xxgWytCWmYA