The Riverwalk Roar

Happy Sunday, Pride!

I hope everyone had a safe and happy weekend. I also hope everyone was able to make good use of that extra hour of sleep that we were gifted last night.

Before I jump into my “Thankful Thanksgiving” series, I wanted to circle back to The Four Agreements and give you a bonus fifth agreement. Years after the original book, don Miguel Ruiz and his son, don Jose Ruiz, wrote The Fifth Agreement. The fifth agreement is: Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen.

At first, “be skeptical” might sound a little negative. But Ruiz isn’t asking us to be cynical or to distrust people. He’s asking us not to automatically believe everything we hear, because most of what people say is shaped by their own experiences and beliefs. That includes the voice in our own heads. Some of the most important things to be skeptical of are the stories we tell ourselves: “I’m just not a math person.” “I’ll never be good at this.” “Everybody else has it figured out.” Before we accept those stories, it’s worth asking, “Is that actually true?”

The second half keeps the first half in balance. Being skeptical doesn’t mean tuning people out. It means really listening, to understand what someone means and why they see things the way they do, even when we don’t agree. Skepticism keeps us grounded in what’s true. Listening keeps us connected to each other.

I see this agreement at work in our classrooms every day. In project-based learning, our students don’t just accept the first answer they find. They check sources, test ideas, and ask hard questions. At the same time, they have to listen to teammates, consider feedback, and present to real audiences who may see things differently. That combination of thinking critically and listening well is a big part of the Riverwalk Way.

I saw a perfect example of this just last week. One of our high school students posed a question to his classmates and teachers that turned into a lively lunchtime debate: Do Froot Loops really come in different flavors? Rather than settle it by arguing, they put it to the test. Once they removed the visual bias of seeing the different colors, they reached a surprising conclusion: they all taste the same! That’s the fifth agreement in a nutshell. They didn’t just trust what their eyes (and years of breakfast experience) told them, and they listened to each other long enough to design a fair test. It’s a fun reminder that sometimes the things we’re most sure about are the ones most worth questioning.

It matters at home, too. Our kids are surrounded by videos, posts, and headlines, and not all of it is true. A healthy habit of “Wait, is that true?” may be one of the most valuable things we can help them build.

So here’s this week’s Pride challenge: the next time your child shares something they saw online or heard at school, ask, “How do you know that’s true? Did you see it for yourself, or did someone else tell you?” And the next time they say something negative about themselves, gently ask that first question again: “How do you know that’s true?” Then really listen to the answer.

Thank you for coming along for this bonus chapter. I hope this agreement finds a home in your family the way the first four have.

In Pride and Purpose,

~Dr. Compton