Clear Expectations -> Safer Choices

As the school year approaches, now is the time to get into the habit of having small conversations. Your everyday conversations help set expectations, build trust, and can prevent problems before they start.

Parents can make a habit of doing the following to check up on their teens activities and behavior:

• Knowing what they are doing, whom they are with, and where they are
• Setting clear expectations for behavior
• Having regular check-ins to be sure these expectations are being met

Check-ins should start early in childhood and continue throughout the teen years, evolving as children grow and mature.

Create rules that are clear, simple, and specific

• Consequences for rule breaking
• Encouragement for rule following

Stay SANE

Small consequences are better

Avoid consequences that PUNISH your child

Non-abusive responses

Effective Consequences

Teens are much more likely to obey rules and limits that they help to create. Work with your teen to figure out what you both can live with. Be open-minded about their needs and desires and crystal clear about yours. Ensure that the rules are age-appropriate and adjust them as your child grows older or demonstrates that they can take on more.

Remember, each rule or limit has to:

• Work for both of you. If your child has an after-school job, setting a rule that says homework has to be done by dinnertime isn’t practical. Neither is giving them until 8pm. Find a middle ground.
• Have clear expectations. Saying, “Be civil to people” is vague. Saying, “Don’t yell, swear, hit or break things” spells out what you expect.

There needs to be a price for stepping over the line. Otherwise, why would anyone pay attention to limits? Let your teen help you define the consequences.

Here are a few questions to keep in mind as you go:

• Does the punishment fit the crime? Grounding for a week may be too harsh when they’re 20 minutes late for dinner, but reasonable when curfew was missed by two hours.
• Can you enforce the consequence? If your teen stays home alone while you work a night shift, saying they have to be in bed by 8pm isn’t very enforceable.
• Is the consequence clear? Saying, “If you miss curfew, you can’t use the car” is vague. Saying, “For every 30 minutes you’re late, you lose your right to use the car for one day” makes the cost clear.

• All teens make mistakes. That’s how they learn. And when your teen does, you’re bound to be upset.
• Try to keep emotions in check. Avoid making empty threats or you’ll lose credibility. Take time to cool off, then calmly explain your disappointment, anger or frustration (your feelings can be a very powerful motivator). Most importantly, remember your agreement — only enforce the consequences you talked about, no surprises.
• When things are going well — which will be most of the time — be sure to let them know.

• By staying in-the-know about your child’s daily routines, you’re taking an important step in preventing substance use. Kids who are not regularly monitored are four times more likely to use drugs than kids who are.
• The most important time of day to monitor is after school. Kids are at the greatest risk for using substances during these hours.

Read more about parental monitoring here.

This will be updated as events are scheduled

Email: prevention-health@lakecountyil.gov
Website: health.lakecountyil.gov
Location: 3010 Grand Ave, Waukegan, IL, USA
Phone: 847-377-8770
Facebook: facebook.com/healthdepartment
Twitter: @LakeCoHealth

Email: info@communitytheantidrug.org

Website: https://communitytheantidrug.org

Phone: 224-765-CTAD (224-765-2823)

Office Locations:

Deerfield & Highland Park High Schools

Mailing Address:

433 Vine Ave., Highland Park IL 60035

Funded in whole or in part by the Illinois Department of Human Services, Division of Behavioral Health and Recovery through a grant from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.